


my heart is always yours

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, So here we are, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Underage Kissing, there was no fic for them and i was sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: Jamie is seven years old when the Barrie family moves next door and Jamie's life is changed forever.
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin, Tyler Seguin/Jason Dickinson, Tyson Barrie/Jamie Benn
Comments: 70
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> The Jamie Benn/Tyson Barrie Childhood Friends to Lovers that no one asked for. *shrug*
> 
> Shoutout to the lovely people on the Hockey RPF discord for cheering this fic on.

_June 1996_

Jamie is seven years old when the Barrie family moves next door. 

“Mom, I don’t want to go!” Jamie whines, looking up from where he and Jordie were passing a puck back and forth in the garage to find his mom and Jenny waiting with a plate of cookies. Jordie dropped his stick but Jamie held on to his, pouting. 

“Jamie Randolph Benn, you are going to put that stick down for five minutes and come meet the new neighbors. Who knows, they might have a son your age you could be friends with.”

“I don’t need friends, I have Jordie.” Jamie grumbled, but followed his mom and siblings out the door and across the street. The moving truck that had been there yesterday was gone, leaving two cars in its place. Jenny stood next to their mom at the front door, Jordie and Jamie shoving each other behind them until his mom turned around and glared them into being still. The door opened a moment later, a dark-haired woman standing there with a pleasant smile. 

“Hi, I’m Heather Benn.” His mom greeted. “This is my daughter Jenny and my sons Jordie and Jamie. We live in the house across the street.”

“Oh, how nice to meet you!” She replied, opening the door wider. “I’m Kristy.”

“We brought you cookies!” Jenny exclaimed, gesturing to the plate in their mom’s hands. 

“You are all so nice. Why don’t you come in and we can share some?” Jamie perked up at the idea of cookies, and followed his family into the house. 

“So, what brings you to the island?” His mom asked as she passed out cookies. 

“My husband moves around a lot for work, we wanted something more stable for our son, and Len is from BC so we thought it would be a good fit.”

“How old is your son?”

“Tyson’s five.” Kristy supplied. “He’s around here somewhere. Tys!”

A moment later, Jamie heard a crash from upstairs followed by the sound of pounding feet taking the stairs two at a time. 

“Yeah, mom?” He heard as the kid landed at the foot of the stairs. He must have just noticed the strangers sitting around his dining table. He froze, wary, but not afraid. 

“Honey, come and meet our new neighbors.” Kristy told him, and Tyson moved until he was pressed up against his mom’s side. “This is Mrs. Benn, and Jenny, and Jordie, and...I’m sorry dear, what did you say your name was?”

“Jamie.” He supplied quietly. 

“Yes, Jamie. They brought us cookies, isn’t that so nice?”

“What kind?” Tyson asked, his eyes on Jamie. 

“Chocolate chip!” Jenny replied, though Tyson’s gaze remained on Jamie. He watched as Tyson took a cookie from his mom, stuffing the whole thing in his mouth rather than taking small bites like a normal person. 

“Do you wanna play with me?” Tyson asked Jamie, crumbs flying from his mouth and onto the table. 

“Of course he does!” His mom replied, and Jamie looked at her pleadingly as Tyson took off at a run. His mom returned his gaze, silently telling him that he had no choice. 

Jamie went after Tyson, grumbling the whole way about playing with a _baby_. 

“I’m five, I’m not a baby.” Tyson informed him as Jamie turned a corner. 

“Well I’m seven, so I’m a whole two years older than you.”

“That’s cool.” Tyson replied, shrugging and wrapping a hand around Jamie’s wrist so he could pull him toward the playroom. 

\---

Just like that, Jamie has a new best friend. 

Tyson is chaos and fun and energy in a way that Jamie’s never known. He’s older by two years, but he finds himself following Tyson’s lead in almost everything. He knows his mom and Mrs. Barrie are happy that they’re friends. Jordie hangs out with them, sometimes, but he’s nine and firmly declares that he’s too old to play with a _baby_ . Jamie’s in awe when he meets Mr. Barrie, who played in the _NHL_ , and when he learns that Tyson loves hockey too they spend hours in each other’s garages and backyards shooting balls back and forth or one of them playing goalie. Jamie’s never really had a friend other than Jordie, and it’s...nice. 

School starts, and Jamie is in grade two while Tyson’s starting kindergarten, and it’s only then that it dawns on Jamie that they won’t be together every day anymore. They’re in the same school, but Tyson’s class is kept separate except for recess. It’s Jamie’s favorite time of day, when the two of them are free to run around the schoolyard together, talking about hockey and what snacks Jamie’s mom would have waiting for them when they got home. 

They’ve been in school for a few months when Liam transfers to their school and Jamie’s class. He’s bigger than any of the other kids, and for some reason he decided on his first day that he hated Jamie. He teases, and taunts, but it’s just words so Jamie ignores it. He ignores it all, doesn’t tell anyone - not Jordie or Tyson or his parents - until they’re out for recess and Liam shoves him off of the jungle gym. Jamie goes flying, lands on his arm, and Jamie can’t miss the definitive _crunch_. His arm explodes with pain, shooting up his shoulder and his eyes burn with tears as he turns and cradles his arm. Jordie runs from where he’s kicking a soccer ball around with his friends and skids to his knees next to Jamie. 

“What happened?”

“I...fell.” Jamie lies, and suddenly Tyson is on his other side, his eyes firey with anger. 

“He didn’t fall, he was pushed!” Tyson exclaims. “By him!” Tyson points up to where Liam is watching them from the jungle gym. 

“I think his arm is broken.” Jordie responds. “I’m gonna get a teacher.”

“You broke his arm!” Tyson screams, launching himself toward Liam. He scrambles up the jungle gym, and Liam’s more than double his size but that doesn’t seem like a thing that’s going to stop Tyson. 

“Jordie, Tyson!” Jamie yells through the pain, just in time for Tyson to tackle Liam. The older boy doesn’t fall, but Tyson clings to him with one hand and swings with the other, clocking him in the jaw. Jordie runs up the jungle gym and tries to pry Tyson off of Liam, which finally gets the attention of the teachers watching them. 

“ _No_ Jordie, he hurt Jamie!” Tyson screams, but finally lets Jordie pull him off when the teacher runs up.

Three hours later, Jamie and his dad are pulling into the driveway, a cast wrapped around Jamie’s arm. Tyson and his mom are waiting at the end of their own driveway, and Tyson sprints away from her until he stops in front of Jamie. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Jamie replies, a little woozy from the medicine they gave him when they set his arm. “I got a cast!”

“That’s so cool!” Tyson runs his hand gently across the cast, and it’s only then that Jamie sees the cut above Tyson’s eyes. 

“You got hurt.” Jamie says, reaching for the cut. 

“You got hurt worser.” Tyson reminds him. 

“You shouldn’t have tried to fight Liam, Tyson.”

“He hurt you.” Is all Tyson says in response. 

“Alright boys, Jamie needs to rest. We’ll see you tomorrow Tyson.” His dad tells them, wrapping an arm around Jamie’s shoulders and guiding him into the house. Jamie waves and Tyson waves back before running back to his mom.

Jordie and Jenny are waiting for him when they walk inside, but his dad sends them both away and takes Jamie up to his room to rest. 

Jamie’s asleep before his head hits the pillow. 


	2. Chapter Two

_ June 1999 _

Jamie is ten years old the first time he really thinks about soulmarks. 

He’d never really had a reason to actually think about getting his Mark. His parents had them - everyone had them - and he just knew his entire life that one day he’d get one too. Since he knew it was inevitable, he never worried about it. And, after all, he was only ten. Why was he going to worry about the name of the person he would have to marry?

Jenny’s fifteen when she comes bounding down the stairs, skidding to a stop in the kitchen and thrusting her arm in their mom’s face. It’s on her shoulder, the script tight and neat where it says  _ Thomas _ . 

“Oh, honey.” Their mom says softly, running her finger along the mark. Jenny is practically vibrating with energy, bouncing from foot to foot. 

“Do you think I’ll meet him soon?”

“Your Mark appearance doesn’t mean you’ll meet him soon.” Their mom reminds her. “Just that it will happen eventually. It could be tomorrow or it could be a long time from now.”

“I bet he’s a nerd.” Jordie chimes in from the breakfast bar, and Jenny shoots him a dirty look. 

“Jordie Benn.” Their mom chastises him, and Jordie rolls his eyes. 

“I’m happy for you Jen, that’s really cool.” Jamie tells her, and Jenny runs across the kitchen and wraps him up in a hug. “Ew, no, stop!”

“Love you too little bro.” Jenny bounces off after that, presumably to tell all her friends about her Mark. 

“When do you think we’ll get our Marks?” Jamie asks later that day while he and Jordie are shooting pucks in the driveway. Jordie shrugs before wristing a puck into the net. 

“Who knows. Marks are stupid.”

“Yeah.” Jamie agrees, before he’s distracted by Tyson running across the street and throwing himself into Jamie’s arms. Jamie drops his stick and wraps his arms around his crying best friend. 

“What’s wrong, Tys?” Tyson sniffles and pulls back until Jamie can see his face. 

“My dad got traded to Florida.”

“Well, that’s a lot closer than Germany.” Jamie replies. Mr. Barrie had been playing in Frankfurt for almost two years, flying home during breaks and the offseason. Jamie knew Tyson had been missing him, so he couldn’t understand why Tyson seemed so upset. 

“He’s been traded to the Panthers. He wants us to go with him this time.”

Jamie freezes at that. 

Tyson’s  _ leaving _ . 

“You’re...you’re leaving?” Jamie asks, and Tyson nods sadly. “When?”

“The end of the summer. Mom wants to move before school starts.”

Jamie’s never had a friend before Tyson. He had Jordie, that was always enough. Then Tyson came along and now Jamie can’t imagine him  _ not _ living in the house across the street. It’s only been three years, but Jamie just always assumed that Tyson would be there. 

Now he won’t. But they have the summer. 

Tyson’s sad for the rest of the day, but the next he seems determined to make the most of their last summer together. They go swimming, and eat their weight in ice cream, and play hockey whenever they can. Jamie’s getting better, he can tell. His coaches are starting to say things like “potential” and “natural talent” and “could maybe go all the way” when they think he’s not listening.

Their moms seem inclined to give them a bit more freedom now that they know they’ll be separated at the end of the summer. They pack them a lunch, push a bottle of sunscreen into their hands, and let them run off toward the creek that runs through the edge of their neighborhood. Jamie and Tyson - and sometimes Jordie and Jenny - spend hours splashing around the water or laying out on the rocky beach, their skin darkening as the days stretch on. 

One day in late July, Jamie and Tyson are alone on the beach, sharing a bag of chips between them as they lay out on the beach when Tyson brings up Marks. 

“When do you think you’ll get your Mark?” He asks, and Jamie shrugs. 

“I dunno.”

“Don’t you wanna know?” Tyson shoves a handful of chips in his mouth, his cheeks puffing up, and Jamie rolls his eyes. 

“Not really. I just wanna play hockey.”

“But then you’ll know who you’re ‘sposed to be with!” Tyson throws his hands up in the air.

“So? Getting married is stupid.” Jamie grumbles. 

“No, it’s not!” Tyson responds, and Jamie can see the determination in Tyson’s eyes to prove that he’s right. “Finding your soulmate is magic. Magic is awesome!”

Jamie scoffs and stretches out on the blanket they brought, closing his eyes. He feels Tyson do the same next to him, close enough that Jamie can feel Tyson’s arm against his. 

“I hope that you’re my soulmate.” Tyson says softly, and Jamie turns to face Tyson. 

“Why would you wanna be soulmates with me?” He asks, and Tyson shrugs.

“You’re my best friend, that would make you the  _ best _ soulmate.”

Jamie thinks for a moment, about the possibility. He’s never really thought about what his soulmate would be like. He’d never thought about what they would look like, how they would act, whether they would be a boy or a girl. He supposes, if he really thinks about, Tyson being his soulmate wouldn’t be the  _ worst  _ thing in the world. He likes Tyson, likes hanging out with him. Isn’t that what you do with a soulmate? Hang out with them forever?

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Jamie agrees before standing up and dashing for the water. 

\---

August comes faster than Jamie could have ever anticipated. He watches from the Barries’ front yard as the movers load the last of their things in the moving truck. Mr. Barrie’s already gone to Florida, so it’s just Mrs. Barrie and Tyson, who’s clinging to Jamie like a leech. Jordie and Jenny are there, too, watching them while his mom and Mrs. Barrie talk softly. 

“Alright, honey, it’s time to hit the road.” Mrs. Barrie tells Tyson, who clings tighter to Jamie. 

“I don’t wanna.” Tyson mumbles, and Jamie sees tears in Mrs. Barrie’s eyes. 

“I know, baby, but we have to go.”

“It’ll be okay, Tys.” Jamie tells him, and Tyson sniffles but nods. He lets go of Jamie long enough to hug Jordie and Jenny, then Jamie’s mom, who kisses his head softly like she does for them. It makes Jamie’s heart do something funny in his chest, and suddenly he wants to hide Tyson in his room so he doesn’t have to leave. Finally, Tyson heads back toward Jamie and Jamie…

Jamie runs. 

He sprints across the street, crashing through his front door and stomping up the stairs to his room. He digs through the chaos on his desk, finally finding what he’s looking for and rushes back down the stairs. His family and the Barries are staring at him as he crashed into Tyson, pulling him into a hug. 

“Here.” He says, pushing the object into Tyson’s hands. Tyson opens up his hand and finds a puck. His eyes grow wide and he shakes his head, trying to give it back to Jamie. 

“No, you should have it.” Jamie tells him. “To remember me.”

Tyson looks down at the puck, the one Mark Messier tossed Jamie when they went to a Canucks game with Mr. Barrie and Jamie’s dad. It was one of Jamie’s prized possessions and he wanted Tyson to have it. 

“I don’t need this to remember you.” Tyson replies, but he slips it in his pocket and hugs Jamie again. “I’ll miss you.”

“Me too.” Jamie replies, then moves back to join Jordie and Jenny as they watch Tyson and Mrs. Barrie get into their car. They don’t say a word as they pull out of the driveway, and Jamie keeps his eyes locked with Tyson until they can’t see each other anymore.

And then, Tyson is gone. 


	3. Chapter Three

_ August 2001 _

Jamie misses Tyson more than he prepared to. He expects to see him every time he steps outside his house. It’s been two years, and they’ve sent letters and talked on the phone, but it’s not the same as having his best friend right across the street. For two years, Jamie and Tyson are separated, and then Mr. Barrie retires. He retires, and Tyson calls Jamie and screams into the phone with all the power in his ten year old body. He’s so loud that Jamie almost drops the phone, almost misses Tyson yelling “I’m coming home, Jamie!”

Tyson’s coming home. 

Jamie’s getting Tyson  _ back _ . 

They sold their house when they left, but by the time they’re ready to come back to Victoria the house next door to Jamie’s is for sale. It takes most of the summer, but then Tyson is back and Jamie’s not ashamed to admit that he watched from the living room window for an entire afternoon waiting for the Barries’ car to come down the street. At one point, Jordie collapses onto the couch that Jamie’s leaning over, shoving his third sandwich of the day in his mouth. 

“You know, waiting here won’t make him get here any faster.”

“Shut up.” Jamie replies with no venom in his voice. 

“Hey, I miss the kid too.” Jordie replies defensively. “I just haven’t seen you this excited about something since Dad bought you those new rollerblades.”

“I just…”

“You miss him.” Jenny supplies, taking a seat on the other side of Jamie. She’s seventeen now, practically an  _ adult _ and Jamie’s grateful that she’s here to defend him against Jordie.

“Yeah.” Jamie admits, staring down at his hands. He’s missed Tyson for two years, the only friend he’s ever had besides Jordie. His mom tried to get him to be more outgoing, he knows that he fell back on Jordie when Tyson left. He just...had no interest in making other friends, having to get to know new people. He gets along with his team, he has Jordie, that was enough. 

And now he was going to have Tyson again. 

Tyson, who was so close now that Jamie could see the Barries’ familiar car coming up the road. Jamie pushed up off the couch, ignoring Jordie’s chuckles and Jenny’s fond smile as he ran across the room and threw the front door open. By the time he crosses the front yard, the car has come to a stop in the driveway. Jamie is aware enough to stop at the edge of the yard, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watched and waited for the Barries to climb out of the car. Jamie watches as the back door is thrown open, a small body scrambling to get out. He comes around from the back of the car and, finally, Jamie can see Tyson with his own eyes for the first time in two years. He smiles back, suddenly nervous. 

Tyson smiles wide and launches himself at Jamie. 

Jamie wraps his arms around Tyson on instinct, clutching him, swinging him around. 

“I’m back!” Tyson yells, and Jamie sets him down. 

“Yeah, you are.” Jamie’s tone is fond, his smile growing. 

“Hey there, son.” Mr. Barrie walks up to them, and Jamie takes the hand he’s offered. 

“Mr. Barrie.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Len?”

“Sorry, sir.” Jamie blushes, but doesn’t call him Len.

“Oh, honey, I’ve missed you so much.” Mrs. Barrie pulls him into a hug that Jamie returns. “Tyson hasn’t talked about anything but seeing you since we hit the road.”

“You wanna play some road hockey?” Tyson asks, and Jamie nods. 

_ October 2004 _

Jamie watches as Hobart passes the puck to Tyson and he flies across the ice. It’s only his fifth game since moving up divisions, and Jamie knows that Tyson feels like he has something to prove. Prove that he’s not going to coast on the fact that his dad used to play in the NHL. Jamie’s told him to not worry about that, but even at thirteen years old Tyson has the hardest head of anyone he’s ever met. 

Jenny’s sitting next to him, only agreeing to drive Jamie to the game after he’d promised to do her chores for a week. She’s watching intently, though, her eyes following Tyson across the ice. When he breaks away they’re both on their feet, cheering for Tyson. He’s already developing as a defenseman, tough and stubborn and unafraid to come to the aid of his teammates. Now, though, Jamie’s screaming his head off as Tyson dekes and slaps the puck into the back of the net. Jenny shakes Jamie’s shoulders as they cheer for him, Jamie watching as his teammates crash into him for a celly. 

They calm down, and Jamie notices the guy next to Jenny watching with amusement. 

“Little brother?” He asks Jenny, who shrugs. 

“Sort of. Baby brother’s best friend.” She tilts her head in Jamie’s direction. 

“My brother’s the goalie for his team.” The guy offers, pride clear in his voice. “I’m Thomas.” He offers, and Jamie’s head whips around so fast that it hurts. He sees Jenny freeze for a moment before smiling and taking his hand. 

“I’m Jenny.” Jamie watches for any kind of reaction from the guy, but he just smiles and releases her hand, returning his attention to the game. His gaze turns to Jenny, who looks disappointed and sad. 

“Sorry.” He tells her quietly, and Jenny shrugs. 

“It’s a common name.” She tells him. Jenny’s had her Mark for three years, and Jamie knows she’s getting impatient. 

“Still.” He reaches over and wraps an arm around her shoulders. Jamie’s only fifteen, but he’s still glad every day that he wakes up without a Mark. He doesn’t want to know his soulmate’s name if he’s going to have to wait years to find them. He’s content to wait. Besides, he reasons, he just wants to play hockey. A soulmate would just get in the way of that. 

The game’s nearing the end of the third period, Tyson’s team up 4-0, when Jamie sees one of the other team’s players charge toward where Tyson is up near the boards. Jamie’s whole body freezes, seeing it coming and Tyson doesn’t. He can’t even get a word out before the player crashes into Tyson, slamming him into the boards. The whole arena falls silent as Tyson crumples to the ice. Jenny grabs his arm, squeezing tightly as he watches the coach rush across the ice. He kneels beside Tyson for a moment before he signals for one of his teammates to help Tyson to his feet. The coach pulls Tyson’s helmet off, and Jamie can see the pain etched all over Tyson’s face. He’s not crying, the stubborn idiot, but he’s cradling his arm in the other as he’s guided off the ice. The crowd applauds, and Jamie’s up and off the bleachers in a moment. Jenny follows behind him silently to the locker room, where the coach is talking quietly to Mrs. Barrie. Tyson’s sitting on the bench, his shoulder wrapped tightly. 

“Tys…” Jamie tells him, coming to sit next to him. Tyson smiles weakly up at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Tyson replies quietly. “They think my shoulder’s sprained.”

“Damn.” Tyson shrugs in response and then grimaces. 

“Let’s get you home.” Mrs. Barrie tells Tyson. 

“I can help.” Jamie tells her. Mrs. Barrie looks like she wants to tell him no, but Tyson leans into Jamie’s space and she sighs. 

“He  _ will _ be hard to get in and out of the car. Thank you, Jamie.”

“I’ll see you at home?” Jenny asks, and Jamie nods. “Get some rest, Tys.”

Jamie keeps an arm wrapped around Tyson’s back as they walk out of the rink and toward the car. Tyson’s significantly shorter than him, but he finds a way to guide him without jostling his shoulder. Tyson lets him lead him sedately, barely saying a word. It’s so unlike the Tyson that Jamie knows that he feels something uncomfortable swirl in his stomach. Still, he manages to get Tyson into the backseat and buckled in before sliding into the other side. Mrs. Barrie lets him get Tyson up to his bedroom, and doesn’t question it when Jamie leaves just long enough to run next door and grab his backpack, setting up on the floor next to Tyson’s bed as he dozes thanks to the painkillers. He works through his science and math homework until Mrs. Barrie comes up to get them for dinner. He gently jostles Tyson, hovering over him until he blinks awake. 

“Jam?” He whispers groggily. 

“Yeah, bud. Your mom made dinner, we should probably get some food in you.”

Tyson nods, lets Jamie help him up without a word and lead him downstairs. 

“Where’s Dad?” Tyson asks, and Mrs. Barrie’s lips turn thin. 

“He had a work dinner honey, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Tyson replies, quiet, and Jamie makes sure he’s settled in his seat before he takes the one next to him. 

“This looks great, Mrs. Barrie.” Jamie offers, and Mrs. Barrie smiles. 

Once dinner’s done, Tyson decides he wants to watch some television in the living room, so Jamie takes over his dish duty. He goes further, wiping down the stovetop and counters before putting the clean dishes away. He looks up and sees Mrs. Barrie watching him from the doorway, a fond smile on her face that looks so much like Tyson’s. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, Jamie.” She tells him, and Jame shrugs. 

“I wanted to.”

“He’ll be fine, you know. You can go home.” Jamie tenses up, worried that he’s overstayed his welcome. 

“If you want me to go, I can.”

“Oh, honey no.” She sets down the wine glass in her hand and wraps an arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “You’re always welcome here, you know that. I just don’t want you to exhaust yourself. Don’t you have a game yourself tomorrow?”

He does, but he also hates the idea of leaving Tyson alone - even if he has his mom. 

“Could I stay here? Just for tonight?” He asks, and Mrs. Barrie studies his face for a moment before sighing. 

“One night.” She concedes. “But if you’re too exhausted to play well tomorrow I don’t want any grumbling mister.”

He gets Tyson settled after forcing him to take another painkiller, then spreads out the sleeping bag he ended up just leaving at the Barries’ after carrying it back and forth half a dozen times. He rolls it out as close as he can to Tyson’s bed, stealing the pillow he isn’t using. 

“You okay?” He asks, and Tyson nods. “You need anything?”

“No.” Tyson assures him, resting his hand on Jamie’s arm. “Thanks for everything you’ve done today.”

“Of course, I'm your best friend.” Jamie’s voice is earnest, and Tyson smiles. 

“Yeah you are.” He agrees, and Jamie doesn’t have time to think or react before Tyson pushes himself up on his good arm and brushes his lips across Jamie’s. He pulls away almost immediately, his smile soft and fond and his eyes glassy. Jamie’s frozen, unable to look away. 

“Night.” Tyson whispers, turning until he’s laying on his good shoulder. 

“Night.” Jamie replies to the back of Tyson’s head. He stretches out on the floor, bringing his fingers up to touch his lips. It’s not his first kiss, but it  _ is _ the first time he’s kissed a guy - the first time he’s kissed  _ Tyson _ . He lays awake late into the night, tossing and turning as Tyson snores loudly above him. He worries and frets and his whole body fills with anxiety, but it’s all for nothing. 

The next morning, Tyson doesn’t remember anything. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note:
> 
> In this chapter, Jamie is 17 and Tyson is 15. There's a couple of scenes where Jamie acknowledges his feelings for Tyson, including a scene where they are physically close and another where they share a bed. Nothing happens, but I wanted to give a warning.

_ July 2006 _

Jamie is seventeen, and he still doesn’t have a Mark. 

It’s not unheard of. Jordie didn’t get his until six months before his seventeenth,  _ Jessica _ winding its way around his bicep. His dad tells him that he had a cousin who didn’t get his Mark until he was in college. Jamie waves it off, tells everyone that it doesn’t matter, he’s not worried. He’s a year away from the draft, and his coaches are telling him he’s got a good shot. He doesn’t have time to worry about soulmates and Marks and  _ love _ . 

Especially not love. 

Maybe, some traitorous part of his heart whispers, he’s glad that he doesn’t have a Mark yet because someone has already taken up residence in said heart. 

Because, of course, Jamie is seventeen and a draft prospect and awkward and shy and quiet and hopelessly in love with his best friend. 

Tyson doesn’t have a Mark yet, either. He’s only fifteen, but he seems eager to know. He asks Jamie about his Mark every so often, which is generally seen as invasive and rude but it’s Tyson and Tyson’s known everything about Jamie since the moment they met. He doesn’t know that Jamie loves him, of course, but Jamie reasons that it’s okay to have one secret. One secret that would push Tyson away forever. Because Jamie  _ knows _ there’s no way Tyson feels the same way. They’re best friends, sure, but Jamie is quiet, reserved, still learning to navigate his too-big body and he’s chubby and can’t make his hair do anything. He can’t talk to anyone - girls or boys - something that Jordie and Tyson tease him about relentlessly. Why would Tyson be interested in him?

Tyson’s already set to play in the WHL, having made the Rockets’ roster for the upcoming season. It’s the first time in years that they’ll be separated, and Jamie tries to ignore the little voice in his head that tells him that Tyson will find someone much more interesting, outgoing and funny and smart and forget all about Jamie. He knows the voice is lying - Tyson has been nothing but a loyal best friend practically their entire lives. He would never just abandon Jamie, but that doesn’t stop the spike of fear he feels when he thinks about telling Tyson how he feels. 

It’s Jordie and Tyson’s birthday, and they’re having a cookout in the Benn backyard. His dad is manning the grill, flipping burgers while drinking a beer with Jamie’s uncle. His mom and Mrs. Barrie are relaxed on one of the couches on the patio, wine glasses in hand. Mr. Barrie’s gone on another business trip, and Jamie didn’t miss the flash of disappointment in Tyson’s eyes when he told him. A few members of Jordie and Jamie’s team are already there, tossing a football. Jamie hangs back on the steps of the deck, a beer he’s not  _ really _ supposed to have dangling from his hand. 

“Your mom know you have that?” Tyson asks, bouncing up beside him, gesturing at the beer. 

“My dad gave it to me.”

“Not what I asked.” Tyson smiles, nudging Jamie’s side with his shoulder. Jamie just takes another sip. They sit there in a comfortable silence, Jamie soaking up Tyson’s presence next to him while he can. In a few months, he’ll be six hours away in Kelowna, and Jamie will have to get used to being without him again for the first time in five years. 

“So how does fifteen feel?” Tyson shrugs, his shoulder rubbing against Jamie’s. 

“Feels the same, so far. Wouldn’t mind one of those beers, though.”

“Yeah, no.” Jamie shoves him away, and Tyson pouts. 

“But it’s my birthday!”

“No way, bud.” Tyson makes a noise that sounds something like a ‘hmph’ and Jamie throws an arm around his shoulders. 

“Hey, Chubbs!” Hallert, one of his teammates, yells from where they’re still throwing a football. “Leave your boyfriend alone and come help us out.”

Jamie doesn’t even argue over the ‘boyfriend’ comment, used to it after so many years. He just pulls Tyson up with him and drags him over to the guys with a hand around his wrist. 

The party goes on until late in the evening, until they have to turn on the lights strung up around the deck. It dwindles down until it’s just their families, Jordie and their dad arguing half-heartedly over a Canucks trade rumor. Their moms are stretched out on the couch now, Jenny on the floor by the couch, sharing the second bottle of wine with their moms. Jamie and Tyson are further out in the backyard, laid out on the grass as they stare up at the stars. 

“I’m scared.” Tyson finally admits softly, picking at the grass with his fingers. “About going to Kelowna.”

“Why?” Jamie turns his head so he can stare at Tyson’s profile, pinched in thought. 

“I’ve never been away from home for so long. Never lived with a billet family.”

“You’ll be back, though, once the season is over. It’s only a few months, and I’m sure your billet will be nice.”

“Yeah.” Tyson replies, his voice quiet. “I just...I don’t want to leave my mom alone.”

Jamie wants to argue that his mom will have Mr. Barrie, but he knows better - that Mr. Barrie’s gone more than he’s home, working on one real estate deal or another. 

“You know we’ll look out for her, Tys.” Jamie tells him, which he knows is true. Mrs. Barrie is one of his mom’s closest friends, and Jamie and Jordie both love her like a second mother. Tyson smiles at that, lacing his fingers through Jamie’s. Jamie tries to ignore the way his heart leaps in his chest at that. Tyson’s always been tactile, never afraid to show his affection through touch. 

“I know you will.” Tyson looks at him with such surety, a familiarity and fondness that makes Jamie want to close the distance between them and kiss the smile off of his face. He thinks back to two years ago, the kiss that Tyson had given him and then not remembered the next day. How much Jamie had wanted to bring it up, tell him what it meant to him even at just fifteen. But, Tyson had been high on painkillers. He hadn’t meant it, Jamie knew. Had only been feeling fond of Jamie because he had been helping him after his injury. He’d never mentioned it, never shown any other sign of reciprocating Jamie’s feelings. So, Jamie had done his best to let it go. He’d even had a girlfriend, Kylie, for a few months during the school year. He’d liked her well enough, but then her Mark had come in and it had said  _ Daniel _ , and that had been that. 

They stay out in the backyard long after their parents go to bed, after Jenny and Jordie finally stagger back into the house. It’s just them, and it’s quiet and peaceful and Jamie wants to wrap himself up in the moment like a blanket. They talk about nothing and everything, their voices growing quieter as the night gets darker. 

“We should go to sleep.” Jamie mumbles after a long moment, feeling himself starting to drift off. 

“Yeah.” Tyson agrees beside him, sounding just as drowsy. 

“C’mon.” Jamie pushes himself up, offering a hand to Tyson. Tyson wraps his hand around Jamie’s, and Jamie doesn’t have a second before Tyson’s pulling. Jamie collapses on top of Jamie, all the breath leaving his lungs like he’s been checked. He glares down at Tyson, who’s laughing hysterically, jostling Jamie as he laughs. 

“I’m sorry.” Tyson wheezes, looking as unapologetic as a person could get. 

“You’re an asshole.” Jamie murmurs, putting all of his weight on Tyson as he pushes himself back up. “Find your own way home.” He moves to walk away but hears Tyson scrambling behind him. A moment later, he feels a familiar weight on his back as Tyson throws himself at Jamie’s back, wrapping his arms around his neck. 

“Too late, you already said I could stay here tonight.”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

“You can’t, it’s my birthday.”

“It’s after midnight, it’s no longer Tyson Barrie Day.” Tyson scoffs at that and continues to cling to Jamie as he attempts to climb the stairs. 

“Every day should be Tyson Barrie Day.”

“Shut up before you wake up my parents.”

“Your parents are used to my noise by now, I’m sure they’ve learned how to tune me out. Plus, they love me.”

“They’re the only ones.” Jamie replies, and Tyson slaps his arm as they walk up the stairs. 

“Lies, I’m your favorite person. You told Jordie at Cassie Masterson’s party, and he told me.”

Jamie freezes at that, doing his best to keep his face neutral. He  _ had _ told Jordie that, but he’d also admitted to  _ more _ , and now he was terrified of what else Jordie had told Tyson. He does his best to shake it off, shucking his pants as soon as they get to his room and he flops onto the bed facefirst. A moment later, he feels the bed dip as Tyson collapses beside him. 

“Where’s your sleeping bag?” He asks, his voice muffled by the pillow. 

“I forgot to bring it. Besides, it’s my birthday. I’m not sleeping on the floor, Chubbs.”

“Whatever.” Jamie mumbles, scooting over to give Tyson more room. 

He’s asleep before he can think too much about the situation. 

The summer flies by, the days until Tyson leaves again like a ticking time bomb in Jamie’s head. He shouldn’t be this dependent on one person, he knows -  _ he knows _ \- but Jamie’s never exactly been spoiled with a huge number of friends, and Tyson’s his person. He does his best to be chill about the whole thing, because Tyson’s nervous enough about a new team and a new town and a new living situation. He doesn’t need Jamie making it worse. 

Jenny and Jordie go camping with some of Jenny’s college friends, and when they come back Jenny can’t stop talking about one of her friend’s brothers, and when she tells them that his name is  _ Thomas _ , Jamie thinks his mom is going to start crying. She hugs Jenny tight, proud in a way that makes something dark and ugly swirl in Jamie’s gut. Jenny didn’t really  _ do _ anything, he thinks. She met someone with a name. He’s not sure that finding someone that matches the name on your skin is some great feat. It’s just random chance. 

He tells Jenny congratulations anyway, then goes to hide upstairs so he won’t ruin her moment with his own insecurities. He collapses on the bed, staring up at the ceiling until he hears taps on his window. He looks up and finds Tyson watching him from his own room, smiling. Jamie leans over and pushes the window open so he can hear whatever Tyson is telling him. 

“Hey!” Tyson yells, waving as if he hadn’t seen Jamie that morning. “I want DQ!”

“You always want DQ.” Jamie points out, and Tyson rolls his eyes. 

“Think you can get the car from Jordie?”

Jamie’s never able to deny Tyson anything, so twenty minutes later he’s poking at his Reese’s Blizzard while Tyson inhales his own Butterfinger treat. 

“You okay?” Tyson asks between bites, and Jamie shrugs.

“Jenny found her Match.” 

“That’s great!” Jamie ignores the fact that Tyson spews ice cream across the table. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Why wouldn’t that be great?” Tyson looks confused, and Jamie shrugs again. 

“It is. I just...I don’t know, my parents acted like Jenny had made some great accomplishment, when all she did was find somebody with a name.” Tyson’s quiet for a long moment, taking a few more bites, before he looks back up at Jamie. 

“Are you feeling like this because you don’t have a Mark yet?”

Jamie doesn’t answer, just stares at his ice cream, which he knows is answer enough for Tyson.

“Jam, you’ll get your Mark.”

“I know that.” Jamie snaps defensively, but almost immediately shoots an apologetic glance at Tyson. 

“And even if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you’re going to end up alone or some shit.” It’s not exactly  _ common _ to not have a Mark, but it does happen, Jamie knows. And those people still find love. Jamie would almost count them as lucky, having the freedom to choose who they love. 

“Besides, even if you  _ don’t _ get a Mark, you’ll always have me.” Tyson adds, smiling despite the ice cream in his mouth. 

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Jamie scoffs, and just manages to dodge the ice cream that Tyson tosses his way. 

Tyson leaves for Kelowna on a Thursday, and they say their goodbyes in Tyson’s room the night before. His flight leaves early, and Jamie knows that Tyson wants this last moment with his Mom. He pulls Tyson into a tight hug, leaning over so can bury his face in Tyson’s neck. If he stays there for a moment longer than he probably should, Tyson doesn’t say anything. They separate, and Jamie runs his hand through Tyson’s curls, tugging them gently. 

“Bye, Tbear.”

“See you later, Chubbs.”

Jamie sleeps fitfully in his bed that night. His skin feels hot all over, and he wonders if he’s getting sick. He sweats through his sheets, and his skin itches for a shower as soon as he wakes up. He slips in before Jenny can claim it for the next two hours, washing his hair that’s grown long in the laziness of summer. He wraps a towel around his waist and steps over to the vanity. He wipes the fog from the mirror and that’s when he sees it. 

Right over his heart, in small, tight letters. 

_ Tyson _

Jamie’s brain goes blank, except for one thought. 

_ Well, fuck _ . 


	5. Chapter Five

Jamie doesn’t tell anyone about his Mark. 

He sprints from the bathroom to his bedroom, slams the door behind him, and slides down against it, his breaths coming in fast and heavy. He runs his fingers over the Mark, scared to look down and see it again with his own two eyes. If he sees it, stark and black against his skin, it will make it real. His eyes slowly drift down of their own accord and there, of course, is the name of his soulmate. 

_ Tyson _

Tyson is his soulmate. 

Jamie can’t deal with this. So he doesn’t. 

He throws on a shirt and goes about his day as he normally would. He doesn’t say anything to his parents, or Jenny, or even Jordie. Still, the Mark feels like a brand, hot against his chest. He finds himself rubbing it through the fabric of his shirt in the days that follow, but he still says nothing. It seems like something precious, a secret that he can’t share with just anyone. Not until he can tell Tyson. Because he’s going to. He  _ has _ to, he tells himself. This is the universe telling him that Tyson is the person he’s meant to be with. He has to tell him.

He will. 

_ December 2006 _

The holidays roll around, and with Christmas and New Year’s comes the return of Tyson to Victoria. Jamie’s been following his season in Kelowna. He hasn’t seen a lot of ice time, but his performance has been solid when he  _ has _ played. Jamie’s proud of him. He goes with Mrs. Barrie to pick him up from the airport, his body singing at the thought of seeing Tyson again. He spots him as he comes into baggage claim, and it seems like it’s been years since he’s seen Tyson instead of months, based on the changes he sees. He seems taller, stockier, more like a teenager and a hockey player than the kid Jamie’s known most of his life. 

He hugs his mom first, picking her up off the ground and swinging her around. She laughs and slaps his arm until Tyson sets her down, stepping out of the way so he can greet Jamie. He doesn’t hesitate to pull Jamie into a hug, slapping his back harder than necessary. Jamie soaks it in, clinging to him for a moment longer than he probably should. Jamie finally feels  _ right _ again, having Tyson in his arms, and he really doesn’t want to let go. 

They chatter in the backseat as Mrs. Barrie drives them back to the house, discussing their respective seasons and exchanging stories about the dumbass things their teammates have done. When they pull into the driveway Tyson runs into the house to dump his bags and gear before jogging back out to join Jamie. It’s winter, and it’s cold, but that’s never stopped Tyson from wanting DQ before, so Jamie climbs into the car he shares with Jordie with a fond eyeroll. 

Jamie’s known Tyson long enough to know when he’s got something he wants to tell him, and for a moment Jamie wonders if Tyson’s Mark has come in as well, if Tyson is going to tell him that he’s got Jamie’s name on his skin. But, Tyson just eats his Blizzard while chattering away about anything and everything. 

“I’ve gotta tell you something.” Tyson finally tells him after they’re back in the car, and Jamie’s hands tighten around the steering wheel. 

“Yeah, me too.” Jamie admits quietly. 

“Something happened when I was in Kelowna.” 

Jamie feels his stomach clench, and it takes everything in Jamie to keep his eyes on the road. 

“I met this girl, Phoebe, and uh...well, she’s my girlfriend now.”

Jamie feels his heart crack in his chest, hears nothing but white noise, can barely focus on the road ahead of him. There’s pain, something deep and dark and invasive and Jamie wants to pull the car over, throw himself out of it, and run until he’s as far away from Tyson as he can possibly be. He’d been sure -  _ so sure _ \- and now….

“That’s, uh...that’s great.” Jamie chokes on the words, but gets them out even if he can't give Tyson the smile to match the lie. 

“Yeah, she’s awesome.” Tyson boasts. “She’s so pretty and so smart, she’s the sister of one of my teammates.”

“If she’s so pretty and smart, what’s she doing with you?” Jamie manages to chirp, even though he’s pretty sure he’s seconds from bursting into tears. 

“Shut up.” Tyson shoves at him. They ride the rest of the way back with Tyson telling him every detail of how he and Phoebe met, how he fumbled through trying to ask her out until she asked  _ him _ , how her hair was soft and how she had glasses but they were  _ adorable _ and how she let him hold her hand and kiss her goodbye before he left to come home. Jamie wants to die but he replies with ‘hmms’ and ‘oh yeahs’ when necessary but it feels like the longest drive of Jamie’s life. Finally -  _ finally _ \- the pull into the Benn driveway. 

Jamie can’t get out of the car fast enough. 

“Oh, hey.” Tyson pulls Jamie’s attention back to him as they stand in front of the car. “What did you want to tell me?”

Jamie thinks about telling him, about pulling him inside and taking his shirt off and showing Tyson where his name is literally written on his heart. Thinks about grabbing Tyson’s face with his hands and kissing him until he can’t remember  _ Phoebe _ anymore. 

He doesn’t. 

“Oh, uh, nothing. I forgot.”

Tyson shrugs, an easy smile on his face. 

“Okay. Well, I need to go call Phoebe and let her know I made it back. But, do you wanna come over and game later?”

“I, uh, I can’t. I promised Jenny I’d go...somewhere with her.”

“Okay.” Tyson’s still smiling, and Jamie wants to die. “Tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” Jamie hedges. “I’ll see you later, Tys.” 

Jamie mopes around the house for the rest of the afternoon, until Jordie drops on top of him on the couch, using his weight to keep Jamie pinned to the cushions despite his best effort.

“What the fuck Jordie, get  _ off _ .”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong, little brother!”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine!”

“Then how come your boy’s been back for almost a day and you are here being sad and emo instead of following him around like a puppy.”

“Damn it Jordie, stop!” Jamie finally manages to get the advantage and pushes him off of him, sending his brother crashing to the floor. He wraps his arms around his chest, glaring at the fireplace on the other side of the living room as if it had personally offended him. 

“Chubbs, come on.” Jordie twisted until he was leaning against the coffee table, staring up at Jamie. “Something’s wrong.”

“Tys has a girlfriend in Kelowna.” Jamie finally admits, looking down to pick at the edge of his sweatshirt sleeve. “Phoebe.”

“Shit.” Jordie says softly. “I’m sorry, Jam.”

“It’s...it’s whatever.” Jamie tries to shrug it off, but Jordie smacks his knee. 

“You can’t lie to me, Chubbs.”

“I just...if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Mom or Dad?”

“Jay…” Jordie starts, and Jamie shakes his head.

“It’s not anything bad, not really. I just...don’t want them to know. Not yet.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jordie agrees, and Jamie drags him up to his room. Once the door is shut behind him Jamie pulls his sweatshirt off, then his t-shirt, keeping his back to Jordie.

“Jamie, what’s…” His voice breaks off when Jamie turns around, his eyes going straight to Jamie’s Mark. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah.” Jamie replies, staring down at the ground. 

“When…”

“The day after he left for Kelowna.”

“And he doesn’t know?” Jamie shakes his head. “Chubbs, you should tell him.”

“Why? He doesn’t have a Mark yet. And, he might not even be…”

“Of course he is.” Jordie snaps, rolling his eyes. “As if it was ever going to be anyone but him for you.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, he’s dating a  _ girl _ .”

“You’ve dated girls and you’re still stupid over him, so that’s not a valid argument.” Jordie points out, and Jamie sighs, collapsing onto the bed. Jordie’s right. Sexuality is always kind of fluid, after all, especially before someone knows who their soulmate is. Most of his teammates have dated people of both sexes, and Tyson isn’t the only guy Jamie’s ever met that caught his eye, even if only for a moment. 

“I just...it’s not a good time.” Jamie reasons. “He’s in Kelowna and I’m probably going to be drafted soon. And he’s only fifteen, Darth. I’m only seventeen. We’re not ready for this.”

“Okay.” Jordie concedes, the bed dipping when he sits down next to Jamie. “That’s your choice, to not be together. But that’s a decision you should make together. It’s not fair to keep this from Tyson, you know that.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything, just keeps his gaze on the floor. He knows that Jordie is right, but he can’t stop himself from picturing the look on Tyson’s face as he talked about Phoebe, the excitement and happiness when he thought of her. Jamie doesn’t want to take that from Tyson, and there’s a very real chance that next year they’ll be separated even further. If Jamie gets drafted, he doesn’t know where he’ll go, after all. Even if he, miraculously, gets drafted somewhere close to home, Tyson will still be in Kelowna for who knows how long. Jamie knows it’s also only a matter of time until Tyson’s drafted too, and who knows where he’ll end up. Tyson obviously doesn’t feel the same way that Jamie does, and he’s not going to put this on him even if his name is written on Jamie’s skin. 

So, he says nothing. 

He tries to act normal around Tyson, and he thinks he succeeds for the most part. If he maybe stares at Tyson for a little too long or he refrains from touching his best friend as easily as he used to, well, no one has to know but him. 

_ June 2007 _

Jamie’s taken in the fifth round by Dallas. 

He hasn’t made it to the show yet - plenty of players get drafted and never make it to the NHL - but he’s  _ drafted _ and it’s a  _ start _ . 

They’re at home, Jamie deciding he didn’t want to travel to Columbus in case he didn’t get picked. But he  _ did _ , and now his mom, Mrs. Barrie, and Jenny are crying, his dad and Jordie and Tommy are wrapping their arms around each other and Tyson is tackling him to the ground in the Benn living room. 

“You did it!” Tyson yells into his ear, lying across him so Jamie can’t get up. “You fucking did it, Chubbs!”

“Tyson Barrie, language.” Mrs. Barrie chides him, but Tyson’s too busy laughing and jostling Jamie to notice.

He finally lets Jamie up, and Jamie’s immediately embraced by his parents. He contorts himself so he can press his face into his mom’s shoulder, taking in her familiar scent in such an overwhelming moment. This is everything he’s worked for for years, and even if he has a long way to go he knows now that he has a chance. 

His parents break out the expensive bottle of champagne they’d secretly bought, passing around glasses to all of the important people in Jamie’s life. Tyson stays glued to his side, Jenny on the other side with an arm wrapped around his waist. 

“You did it kid.” She tells him, resting her head on his arm. The ring on her finger flashes in the light from where she’s holding her champagne, and it makes Jamie think of Tyson on the other side of him, of the name on his chest that he still hasn’t told anyone but Jordie about. 

“I’m proud of you.” She says softly. “You’re getting your dream.”

Jamie can’t help but look at Tyson after that. 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was initially supposed to have a very sad, angsty ending but I was talked out the angst (for now). So I have a bit of happiness here.

_September 2007_

Jamie’s drafted by Dallas and, because the universe thinks his life is a joke, they decide to send him to play in Kelowna to continue developing his game. It’s the WHL, and he’s excited, but that also means he’s back with Tyson, and now they’re on the same team, and in each other’s pocket constantly.

They play great hockey together, that’s not Jamie’s issue and it never will be. He loves playing with Tyson, loves spending all of his time with Tyson. It’s so close to everything that Jamie’s ever wanted that sometimes it feels like a warm blanket around his shoulders. Jamie’s issue is, of course, trying to keep Tyson from seeing his Mark when they’re naked in front of each other in the locker room almost every day. The _Tyson_ is there, stark and black, across his chest and Jamie’s constantly afraid that Tyson will see it. The rest of the team just think that Jamie’s shyness is why he prefers to change after everyone has already left. It’s been so long now that, if Tyson sees it, he’ll know that Jamie’s hidden it from him for _over a year_ , and Jamie has no way to explain that other than to admit that he’s terrified of everything that it means.

Jamie’s eighteen now, Tyson’s sixteen, and they’re both awkward and gangly but Tyson’s also _beautiful_ to Jamie, and his chest hurts when he thinks about how much Tyson means to him. How Tyson just smiling at him from across the ice is enough to make his stomach flip and his heart leap into his throat. How Tyson throwing an arm around his shoulders feels like the weight of the world lifting off of him. When he gets overwhelmed over the fact that the Stars are waiting for him to prove that he’s ready for the show – that he _deserves_ to be there – Tyson’s there to talk him down every time.

“You’re gonna make it Chubbs.” Tyson assures him one night while they’re at a team bonfire, surrounded by their teammates and their girlfriends and boyfriends as the fire blazes in front of them. “You’re so good, and you’re only getting better.” Jamie leans into Tyson’s shoulder, a silent thanks.

A moment later Jamie’s jostled by Evan throwing himself into Tyson’s lap. He and Tyson have been dating for a few months, and he’s nice enough even if Jamie wants to wipe him from existence whenever he sees his hands all over Tyson.

“Babe, come dance with me.” Evan tells him, and Tyson laughs and wraps an arm around his waist to hold him in place. “I love this song!”

“Give me a minute?” Tyson asks, glancing over at Jamie.

“Dude, go.” Jamie insists, shoving him away even if it goes against every instinct in his body. Tyson stares at him for a moment, hard, and it feels like Tyson can read Jamie like an open book. Which, Jamie reasons, after so many years he probably can. He finally nods and lets Evan drag him off to the where a few couples are dancing along to the country song playing softly from one of the trucks.

Jamie has to look away when Tyson wraps an arm around Evan’s waist, pulling him in closer until they’re completely wrapped around each other. Jamie likes Evan well enough, but seeing him with Tyson hurts more than hearing about Phoebe ever did. Maybe it’s because it’s easier to picture himself in Evan’s place than it ever was with Phoebe. Evan’s shorter than Tyson where Jamie’s several inches taller, but he’s got dark hair and a similar stocky build and knowing that Tyson is attracted to someone similar to Jamie is a lot for him to handle. There’s times when he wants nothing more than to crowd into Tyson’s space, pull down the collar of his shirt, and show him where Tyson’s name is branded on his skin, wants to crush his lips to Tyson’s and claim him as his own, make sure that no one ever touches Tyson the way Jamie wants to ever again.

Then, he remembers that he’ll only be in Kelowna for a short time. Eventually, he’ll be sent to the Stars’ AHL team in Austin or – maybe, one day – makes the Stars roster and then he’ll be in Dallas and Tyson will inevitably be drafted somewhere and Jamie’s not sure he could handle having Tyson and then losing Tyson to whatever NHL team gets him. There’s also the likely probability that, eventually, Tyson will get his Mark and it won’t say _Jamie_. The logical part of his brain tells Jamie that the Tyson on his chest being _his_ Tyson isn’t guaranteed. That Tyson might wake up one day with a name that’s not Jamie’s.

It’s easier, safer, to be Tyson’s best friend.

Jamie billets with a nice family called the Johannsons. They have a son Tyson’s age, billeting himself in Ontario, and another son a few years older than Jamie who doesn’t play hockey. Colin tells Jamie that he wants to be a writer, that he wants to travel the world, that he’s writing a book about people without Marks because he doesn’t have one and he wants to show people like him that they can find love too. When Colin kisses him a few weeks before Jamie’s set to go home for Christmas, Jamie leans into it even though he’s not Tyson. They sneak up to Colin’s room, the rest of the house quiet as they move against each other in the dark. Jamie’s fumbling and awkward, but Colin’s patient and lets Jamie set the pace. After, there’s just enough light in the room for Colin to see Jamie’s Mark from where he’s lying on Jamie’s chest. He traces it softly with one finger, and it feels _wrong_ to Jamie, but he doesn’t say anything, just keeps running his fingers through Colin’s wavy red hair.

“Do you know him?” Colin asks quietly, and Jamie shrugs.

“You do.” It’s not a question, and Jamie still doesn’t respond. Colin doesn’t say anything, just drops a kiss on Jamie’s chest and swings his leg over Jamie’s waist. “Round two?”

The thing with Colin becomes a _thing_ , though Jamie knows they both know what it really means in the end. Still, Jamie hasn’t dated anyone since his Mark appeared, and it’s nice to have someone to do things with. Colin’s smart – so much smarter than Jamie could ever hope to be – but he doesn’t treat Jamie like he’s stupid, always explains whatever he’s talking about in terms that Jamie can understand. He tells him about all of the research he’s done into Marks and soulmates and people who don’t have either. He answers Jamie’s questions when Jamie’s brave enough to ask them, and Jamie learns things about Marks and soulmates and _himself_ that makes him feel both better and worse about his life.

Tyson doesn’t like Colin and isn’t afraid to tell Jamie.

Evan suggests a double date, and Jamie reluctantly agrees. It’s a disaster, and Jamie never thought that bowling could be such an infuriating experience until the fourth time Tyson rolls his eyes at one of Colin’s jokes or stares too long when Colin presses himself into Jamie’s side while Evan takes his turn. They had plans to go to dinner after bowling, but Jamie lies and says he’s tired so he doesn’t have to admit that he’s so aggravated with his best friend that he can’t look at his face right now. He and Colin go home, fool around in Colin’s room, and they don’t say a thing about the night until Colin’s sitting up in the bed typing away on his laptop.

“He’s the Tyson on your chest, isn’t he?” Colin asks, still staring at his screen. Jamie jolts, turning his head toward Colin. “It’s okay.” Colin continues, and Jamie sighs.

“I don’t know.” Jamie tells him, and Colin looks away from his screen long enough to raise one elegant eyebrow. “Maybe. I think so.”

“Why haven’t you told him?”

“He has a boyfriend. Had a girlfriend before that.” Colin sets his computer on the nightstand at that, stretching out and turning until he’s facing Jamie.

“How long have you known him?”

“Ten years.”

“How long have you had your Mark?”

“About a year and a half.”

“Hmm.” Colin reaches out a hand runs his finger along Jamie’s arm almost absentmindedly. “You don’t think he’d dump Evan in a second if he thought you felt the same way he does?”

“It’s not…he doesn’t…”

“Oh, he does.” Colin laughs, something soft and breathless that makes Jamie’s stomach clench with attraction. “Trust me, I think I would be a pile of ashes on the floor if he could have set me on fire with a thought.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It’s not?”

“No, I…we’re going to be separated eventually, and…he’s so young.”

“You’re young too.” Colin tucks a piece of hair behind Jamie’s ear and smiles. “You put too much on yourself, Jamie.”

“I’m fine.”

“This is what’s so fucked up about Marks. People get them so young and then suddenly there’s all this pressure to find your soulmate, or be with them, and you’re a child and suddenly your whole entire fucking life is laid out in front of you before you even know who you _are_.”

“Were you relieved when you realized you wouldn’t get a Mark?” Colin stares at the ceiling at Jamie’s question for a long time.

“I mean…I’m only twenty-one. I could, technically, still get one even if the chances are low. When I finally stopped waiting for one to appear, I guess I felt…I don’t know. Relief isn’t the right word, but not sadness either. Free, maybe? Like I have a choice. I can love who I want and not feel guilty about it.”

“I don’t feel guilty.” Jamie grumbles and Colin chuckles.

“Yeah, but you don’t love me either.”

_May 2008_

The season ends in the spring, and then Colin tells him that he’s moving to Toronto, and that’s the end of that. Jamie’s not as torn up about it as he thought he’d be, and he realizes he feels a lot stronger about Tyson and Evan’s breakup than about his own. Tyson’s sullen and quiet on the plane home, and Jamie does his best to cheer him up, but he mostly just sits next to Jamie and gives him one-word answers while staring at his hands. He won’t tell him why they broke up, and it’s so unlike Tyson to not tell Jamie everything that Jamie feels uncomfortable in his own skin. He wants to tackle Tyson to the ground and sit on him until he tells him, a tactic Tyson still uses to get information about Jamie. Instead, they drive home in sullen silence, Jordie sensing the tension from the driver’s seat, but he says nothing. Tyson trudges next door with his bags and gear with only a wave to the Benn brothers. Jordie looks at Jamie, who shrugs.

“Bad breakup.”

Jamie doesn’t see Tyson for three days, but he does get text confirmations that he is, in fact, still alive so he lets it slide. He also gets the call from his agent that he’s going to the Stars training camp this year and he knows – _knows_ – that he’s gonna make the roster. He’s been playing great hockey in Kelowna, developing his game and now he knows he’s gone from “someone not worth drafting” to “someone to watch for.”

He’s helping his mom make breakfast on the fourth day when Tyson barrels through the front door, still in his pajamas. It says something that his Mom doesn’t bat an eye, just accepts that a PJ-clad Tyson Barrie running through her house at 8AM on a Tuesday is just a thing that happens. Tyson wraps a hand around Jamie’s arm, and his eyes are a little wild, but he looks more like his Tyson than he did when they arrived home. He pulls a little, dragging Jamie toward the stairs.

“I need to talk to you.” Tyson tells him, shoving him until Jamie’s climbing the stairs to his room. Once the door is firmly shut behind them, Tyson looks less manic and more terrified. Jamie watches as he pulls at the drawstring of his pants, his eyes flitting from the bed to the window to the bookshelf covered in hockey shit and back to Jamie’s face.

“You okay, Tys? Did something happen?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah it did.”

“Did…did you and Evan get back together?”

“What? No, of course not.” Tyson scrunches up his nose and shakes his head, and Jamie nearly sags with relief. “No, but I…I need to show you something.”

Jamie watches as Tyson starts to roll up the sleeve covering his left arm, and Jamie feels his breath catch in his throat. He can feel Tyson’s eyes on him, but he can’t look anywhere except at Tyson’s arm. Time slows as the _e_ appears across Tyson’s forearm, and then what feels like the next second he can see the entire name running across Tyson’s skin.

_Jamie_

“It’s you.” Tyson finally breaks the silence, and Jamie finally locks eyes with Tyson and Tyson’s smiling, something wide and bright and brilliant and Jamie loves him so much he feels as if he might burst with it. He can’t tell if his heart has stopped beating in his chest or if it’s about to explode. He reaches out and runs a finger over the words on Tyson’s skin, and Tyson’s entire body shudders with it.

“I know you don’t have a Mark yet, but…I mean, it has to be you, right?”

“Uh…” Jamie trails off and steps out of Tyson’s space. Disappointment and hurt flash across Tyson’s face immediately, but his eyes widen as Jamie reaches back to pull his ratty sleepshirt over his head. Jamie feels exposed, more than he’s ever been in his entire life. He feels Tyson’s gaze hot and heavy on his chest, and doesn’t move as Tyson steps closer to him, fingers coming up to hover above his Mark. Jamie feels like he’s been checked into the boards as Tyson delicately runs his fingertips over his own name on Jamie’s chest.

“When?” He asks, and Jamie has to look away from his face.

“The day you left for Kelowna.” He admits, and he hears Tyson suck in a breath.

“Why did… _Jamie_.”

“I’m sorry, I…I was going to tell you when you came back for Christmas, but then you….”

“Phoebe.” Tyson finishes, and Jamie nods.

“And then after that, well, I guess I was just scared.”

“Scared of me?”

“Of what this means.” Jamie clarifies, and on instinct he reaches between them and wraps his hand around the Tysons, pressing them to Jamie’s chest. “We’re so young, and I’ve been drafted by Dallas, you’ll be drafted next year, and we’ll be so far apart…”

“We’ve been apart before.” Tyson points out. “That hasn’t stopped us up to now.”

“This is different, Tys, we’re…”

“Soulmates.” The word feels heavy in Jamie’s head, but light as air and full of hope falling from Tyson’s lips. “We’re soulmates.”

Jamie lists forward, resting his forehead against Tyson’s. They stand like that, breathing each other in, until Tyson finally decides to be the brave one. Jamie doesn’t open his eyes but feels Tyson shift his head until he’s slotting their lips together. It’s soft, sure, and the most intense thing Jamie’s ever experienced in his entire life. He slips a hand around Tyson’s waist, pulling him in closer and Tyson whimpers against his mouth. Jamie pulls away and brushes his nose against Tyson’s jaw, dropping a kiss against Tyson’s cheek and then his temple before pulling away.

“We should talk about this.” Jamie tells him, and he’s a little embarrassed at how wrecked he sounds.

“Yeah, definitely.” Tyson agrees, but when Jamie looks back at him, he’s got that devilish grin that Jamie has known since he was seven years old means that Tyson’s about to start trouble. “Later.” He adds, and launches himself at Jamie.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what's happened to me, but here's 2k of fluff.

_June 2009_

Tyson goes in the third round of the draft. His dad tried to convince him to come to Montreal, to be there to put on the jersey of whatever team chose him. Jamie hadn’t been in the room when Tyson told him that he wanted to be at home with his family, but he knew that Len hadn’t been exactly thrilled. They’re all huddled in the Benn living room, and Jamie nearly jumps out of his skin when Tyson’s phone rings.

“It’s my dad.” Tyson tells him from where he’s tucked into Jamie’s side. Tyson’s quiet on the phone, listening to his dad, until he shakes his head and looks at Jamie briefly before turning back to the phone.

“No, Dad, please.” Tyson says into the phone, and Jamie raises an eyebrow. “Please, I’ll never live it down. Don’t do it.” He’s quiet again until he mutters a ‘thanks’ and hangs up.

“What was that about?” Jamie asks, and Tyson chuckles.

“Tampa Bay were going to draft me.” Jamie knew it was a possibility, since Tyson’s dad was an owner. It was part of the reason that Mr. Barrie spent half of the year in Florida.

“And you told him not to?”

“Of course I did. Can you imagine? I’d never live it down. Tyson Barrie, only drafted because his dad’s the boss.”

Jamie watched as Mrs. Barrie came and sat down on the other side of Tyson, holding his hand in hers.

“That means someone’s going to take you soon.” She assured him, and Tyson nodded. Jamie squeezed Tyson’s shoulders tighter. He knows the chances of Tyson being drafted by Dallas are slim, but he also knows that they’ve got a pick early in the next round. He can’t help but hope that maybe, somehow, they won’t be separated.

The hope is dashed twelve picks later. Jamie tries not to let his disappointment show when, five picks before Dallas, the Avalanche draft Tyson. The Benn living room erupts, Mrs. Barrie pulling Tyson into a hug with tears in her eyes.

“I’m so proud of you baby.” She tells him, and Tyson grabs her for another hug before he turns to Jamie. His eyes are bright, shining, and Jamie feels his heart swell with how much he loves him. He pulls Tyson closer, dropping a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Congratulations, baby.” He whispers against Tyson’s lips.

“Denver isn’t that far from Dallas.” Tyson points out, and Jamie pulls him in closer.

Denver, it turns out, is 800 miles from Dallas. Kelowna, on the other hand, is 2,100 miles away. Jamie knew that he and Tyson shouldn’t have gotten their hopes up, but when the Avs sent Tyson back to Kelowna, Jamie knew them being separated by thousands of miles was inevitable. His game had developed over his two seasons with the Rockets, and his performance at the Stars’ training camp had solidified his certainty that he would at least make their AHL team this season.

Then, he gets the call.

“You made the roster?” Tyson practically yells down the phone. Jamie holds it away from his face but laughs.

“Yes.” Jamie feels a blush creep along his cheeks, even though Tyson can’t see him.

“You made it to the mother fucking show, Chubbs!” Tyson continues to scream down the line. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Jamie smiles, tucking his chin into his chest. “It feels…pretty good.”

“Babe, this is…this is so much bigger than pretty good.”

“I wish you were here.” Jamie admits, and that seems to calm Tyson.

“I wish I was too. We could celebrate properly.” Jamie can hear the leer in Tyson’s voice, and he settles further into the couch.

“Oh, yeah?” He asks, and they lose the next half hour together.

Jamie thought he knew what to expect, now that he’d finally made it to the show. He knew it would be grueling, but after the first game against Nashville all he wants is to crawl into the bed in his new, eerily empty, apartment and sleep for two days. He pulls a penalty in the first period, and then they lose in a shootout, and it’s not the way Jamie wanted to start the season or his NHL career. Morrow pulls him aside on their way out of the arena, slapping a hand on his shoulder.

“You did good, kid.”

“Sorry about that penalty.” Jamie mumbles, and Morrow shrugs.

“Eh, it happens. Let’s have lunch tomorrow after practice.”

“Sure.” Jamie nods, and Morrow squeezes his shoulder again before heading off toward his own car.

The next day, Morrow takes them to a hole-in-the-wall burger place near the arena. Dallas isn’t a huge hockey city, so no one really pays them any attention in a corner booth in the back.

“Your brother’s in town, right?” Morrow asks him, once their food has arrived.

“Yeah, he’s playing with the Americans up in Allen.” Jordie had signed with the CHL team right after Jamie had made the Stars’ roster, and it was comforting to know that his brother was nearby.

“And the rest of your family?”

“Victoria.” Jamie supplies, and Morrow nods.

“And your soulmate?” Jamie’s taken aback by the question, doesn’t answer, and Morrow smiles and tips his head toward Jamie’s chest. “Saw your Mark in the locker room. Tyson, right?”

“Y-yeah.” Jamie finally stutters out. It’s not unheard of for players to have same-sex soulmates, even soulmates who play on the same team – Kane and Toews on the Hawks jump to the front of Jamie’s mind – but it’s still rare enough that admitting to his new captain that his soulmate is a man is enough to fill Jamie with nerves.

“He here with you?” Morrow asks, and Jamie shakes his head. “He’s back in Victoria?”

“No, he, uh, he’s playing in Kelowna.”

“The Rockets?” Jamie nods and Morrow is quiet.

“It’s gotta be hard, being away from him.”

“Yeah, um.” Jamie begins, toying with the straw in his glass. “It sucks, but, it’s the job y’know?”

“I get that. I couldn’t imagine being separated from Anne-Marie, not for months like this. You seem like a good kid, Jamie. If you need anything, you’ll let me know?”

Morrow’s smile is genuine when Jamie looks up, and Jamie feels a weight lift off of his shoulders.

When they’re set to play Vancouver in late January, Morrow gets Jamie permission to fly up ahead of the team, and Tyson’s waiting in baggage claim despite it being almost two in the morning when he lands. Jamie’s exhausted, every bone in his body hurts, but it all melts away when Tyson wraps his arms around him. He turns and tucks his face into Tyson’s neck, breathing him in for the first time in months.

“God, I missed you.” Tyson whispers into his hair, and Jamie nods against his skin. “Let’s get you to bed, eh?”

Jamie steps away from Tyson enough that they can walk, but he tangles their fingers together and doesn’t stop touching him until they enter the hotel room. He collapses face first onto the bed, fully clothed, and groans when he feels Tyson start to tug at his shoes.

“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.” Tyson tells him, and Jamie just reaches blindly for him until Tyson lets himself be pulled onto the bed beside him. Jamie tugs until his face is resting on Tyson’s chest, and sighs when Tyson’s arms come around him. “You’re going to be really mad when you wake up tomorrow in your game day suit.”

“Worth it.” Jamie mumbles, and manages enough energy to smile into Tyson’s shirt when he presses a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Jam. Go to sleep.” Jamie thinks he hears Tyson, but he’s pretty sure he’s asleep before Tyson finishes speaking.

Jamie’s more grateful than he can say that Jordie is still so close. He comes to Dallas on his days off, and Jamie finds that it’s just nice to have family around. He knows that he’s spoiled in that respect, especially with Jordie working his way up through the Stars’ system. There’s a chance they could even play hockey again together in the near future. Whenever Jordie comes up, however, he always insists on eating in the restaurant inside the building Jamie’s staying in. Jamie’s not sure why, until a cute blonde waitress comes up to their table and Jordie completely shutters, staring down at his menu and not saying a word.

“Hi, I’m Jessica, I’ll be taking care of y’all.” She greets, and Jamie’s eyes widen as he looks down at her nametag to confirm. “What can I get y’all to drink?” She’s sweet looking, a slight tinge of a Texas accent, and when he looks over at Jordie his brother’s blushing bright red. She takes their drink orders and steps away, and Jamie hits his brother in the head with the menu.

“What the _fuck_ , dude? Is this why you like coming here?”

“Shut up!” Jordie snaps, but his face is still burning, and Jamie throws his head back in laughter.

“Did you know her name this whole time?”

“No, not at first.” Jordie admits, his voice mumbled by his hands on his face. “I just…hoped.”

“Does she…” Jamie stares at Jordie, then shakes his head. “She doesn’t know your name.”

“That shit’s so awkward, Chubbs. How do I just go up to her and be like ‘hey, your name’s on my arm, do you have _Jordie_ written anywhere on your body?’ We aren’t all lucky enough to be soulmates with someone we’ve known since we were seven.”

“Here you go.” Jessica interrupts them, setting their drinks down. “Are you ready to order, or do you need some more time.”

“I think I’m ready.” Jamie answers, staring across the table. “How about you, Jordie?”

Jordie freezes and, when Jamie looks up, Jessica’s staring straight at his brother.

“Your name’s Jordie?” Her voice is soft, trembling almost, and Jamie kicks Jordie under the table.

“Ow, fuck!” Jordie curses, and Jessica jumps but laughs. “Uh, yeah. Jordie.”

“Not, like, a nickname? Not Jordan or something?” She asks, and Jordie shakes his head.

“Uh, okay, so…” Jessica trails off, but lifts her leg until her ankle is visible, _Jordie_ clearly wrapping around her ankle. She looks at Jordie expectantly, who chooses to continue to stare at her with his mouth slightly open.

“Dude!” Jamie tries to kick him again, but misses and hits the booth instead. “Show her.”

Jamie watches Jessica’s face as Jordie finally peels off his jacket and rolls up his sleeve until they can see his bicep, the familiar _Jessica_ stark and black. Jessica’s face lights up, and so does Jordie’s, and Jamie can feel the smile on his own face.

“Uh, well, whatever you boys want, it’s on me today.” Jessica finally says, beaming at Jordie. “And I’ll, uh, talk to you later?” Jordie nods and suddenly Jamie misses Tyson more than ever.

The rest of the season is, frankly, terrible. They can’t manage to win more than two games in a row, but Jamie ends the season with forty points despite them being last place in the division. He’s sent down to Austin to play in the AHL playoffs with the Texas Stars, and even though they lose in the finals he’s still proud of the work he did. Still, by the time they finish it’s mid-June and Jamie’s itching to get home, to get back to Tyson.

Jessica comes home with him and Jordie, and they decide to rent out a lakehouse for the summer, not wanting to spend another offseason with their parents. It’s small, but more than enough room for the four of them, and Jamie spends his days with two of his favorite people – three, really, because Jessi is _awesome_ and he doesn’t think the universe could have found a better match for his brother than this beautiful, smart, headstrong Texas girl.

“They’re sending me to the Rockets again next year.” Tyson tells him one night in late August, when they’re curled up alone on the back patio.

“That’s okay.” Jamie assures him, running his fingers through Tyson’s curls.

“What if I don’t make it?” Tyson asks after a long moment. Jamie wants to reassure him, tell him that’s not going to happen, but he also knows Tyson would see it for the lie it was. It’s always a possibility, to lose hockey, even after they make it to the show.

“If you don’t, then…you can find a different dream. And, you know, I’ll always be here with you. We’ll find a different dream together.”

Tyson doesn’t respond, but Jamie can feel him tracing his name on Jamie’s chest through his shirt, a coping mechanism that Jamie relishes every time it happens. They lay there together, dozing, and in that moment there’s nothing Jamie wants more than to stay there with Tyson forever.

He never wants it to end.

Then, it does.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry???

_September 2011_

“How are you settling in?”

“Fine.” Tyson replies down the line before Jamie hears a thump that indicates Tyson collapsing onto the couch in his new living room. “How’s Dallas?”

“The new place is nice. The roommate situation could use some improvement.”

“Hey!” Jamie heard Jordie call from the kitchen, and Tyson chuckled.

“I miss you.” Jamie admitted, and Tyson hummed.

“I miss you, too. We always get spoiled in the offseason.”

“I could tell them. Tell them that you’re my soulmate, then the league would make them trade one of us…”

“No.” Tyson cuts him off, his tone stern. It’s an argument they’ve had regularly for almost two years. “Dallas has plans for you, they’d never trade you to the Avs, and I’m still in the AHL. And you know I don’t want to make it to the show just because my name’s on your chest.”

“I know.” Jamie finally says after a long pause. “I just…this is harder than I thought it would be. And now you’re in Cleveland, it just…feels like we’re never going to be in the same place. It sucks.”

“We knew it would be like this, Jam. And it’s only temporary.”

“Yeah.” Jamie replies, bites his tongue from pointing out just how _long_ this temporary situation could be.

“Now, tell me about training camp!”

Jordie gets sent back down to the AHL team in Austin after training camp, and Jamie does his best to not show how truly alone he feels after Jordie leaves. His brother had been impressive, and Jamie tells himself that it’s only a matter of time until Jordie’s back in Dallas. Still, in the quiet nights when he eats dinner alone, watches TV alone, goes to bed alone, he misses Tyson like a missing limb. They call every day, text steadily, but it’s not the same as when they’re home in the offseason. When they’re in Victoria, Tyson is almost always within arm’s reach, he’s there where Jamie can easily wrap an arm around his waist, where Tyson can turn in his arms and drop chaste kisses under his jaw, rest his head on Jamie’s shoulder while they watch Jordie follow Jessi around like a puppy with his favorite toy. He misses going to sleep with Tyson wrapped around him, his arms and legs tight around Jamie until it’s almost oppressive. He’s only twenty-two, only really beginning his career, and yet sometimes all he wants to do is give it all up and go to Cleveland to be with Tyson

It doesn’t get any easier, as the weeks turn into months. Jamie hopes that Tyson can come to Columbus when the Stars roll through early in the season, but Tyson’s in New York with the Monsters and they miss each other. Jamie finally has a few days off in a row in late October, and he buys a plane ticket to Cleveland without thinking twice. He can only stay one night, but it’s enough that he doesn’t think about the red eye flight. All he thinks about is that moment where he stands on Tyson’s doorstep and finally gets to hold Tyson’s face in his hands again.

It’s almost midnight when the front door of Tyson’s apartment is finally in front of him. He knocks, listening intently for the sound of Tyson or his roommate Stefan moving around inside. There’s nothing, and Jamie frowns before trying again. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, not wanting to ruin the surprise but also not wanting to spend the night outside Tyson’s apartment. It rings and rings and then goes to voicemail, Tyson’s greeting bringing a small smile to his face.

“Hey, babe, it’s me. Uh, if you’re home you should definitely go to your front door. Yeah. Love you.”

He waits for a few minutes, hoping a sleepy Tyson will appear at the door, but calls again when he’s still outside the apartment ten minutes later. This time, the phone goes to voicemail quickly, and Jamie’s not sure if Tyson’s phone is dead or if he sent Jamie to voicemail. He knocks one more time, just to be sure, before sliding down against the wall across from the front door and settling in to wait.

He’s dozing against the wall sometime later when he hears a clattering down the hall. He looks up, his eyes blurry with sleep and exhaustion, and finds the familiar shape of Tyson stumbling down the walkway, two men carrying his weight and practically dragging them. He recognizes one of them as Stefan, Tyson’s roommate and teammate, and he assumes the other guy is a Monster as well, based on his build. He pushes himself up into a standing position and locks eyes with Stefan, who heaves a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank fuck.” He grumbles as they get closer. “He’s your problem now.” He shoves Tyson in Jamie’s direction before fumbling for his keys. Jamie takes Tyson’s weight with practiced ease, though it’s a little harder with Tyson practically dead weight in his arms.

“You okay, Tys?”

“You sound like Jamie.” Tyson’s voice is muffled by Jamie’s shirt, and Jamie brings a hand up to rub the back of Tyson’s head. “Smell like him, too.”

“That’s because I _am_ Jamie, babe.”

“No.” Tyson groans in frustration, trying to push himself out of Jamie’s arms. “Jamie’s in Dallas, you aren’t him.”

“Well, they have these fancy new things called airplanes, that can get you from one place to another pretty quickly.” Tyson finally turns his head, locking glassy eyes with Jamie’s. His smile is instant and blinding, and suddenly the hours on the plane and sleeping in front of Tyson’s front door are all worth it.

“ _Jamie_.” Tyson says with reverence. He pushes himself up enough that he can frame Jamie’s face with his hands, as if he wants to take him all in. “You’re here.”

“Yeah.” Jamie confirms, letting Tyson shake his head back and forth.

“I’m probably gonna throw up on you.” Tyson confesses. “’m really drunk.”

“O-kay, let’s get you inside then, huh?” Stefan had left the door open, and Jamie lets Tyson plaster himself to Jamie’s side as he helps him into the apartment and then into his bedroom. Stefan’s door is closed, and the other guy is already passed out on the couch. He manages to deposit Tyson on the bed, gets his shoes and jeans off and places a wastebasket on his side of the bed. He runs back into the kitchen and pours a glass of water and returns to find Tyson burrowed under the covers, half-asleep.

“Here, you have to drink this first.” He tells Tyson gently, helping him sit up and drink the entire glass.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Tyson remarks once Jamie sets the glass back on the nightstand. “How are you here?”

“I missed you.” Jamie shrugs, standing up long enough to take off his own clothes until he’s just in his boxers. He doesn’t miss Tyson eyeing him up appreciatively, and it’s a stark reminder that Jamie hasn’t had anything but his own hand since they’d left Victoria.

“You’re the best.” Tyson’s arms peek out from under the blanket and he makes grabby hands until Jamie climbs over him to slip into the bed. Tyson attaches himself immediately, an arm going around Jamie’s waist before he shoves a thigh between Jamie’s legs. Jamie responds immediately, despite his exhaustion, but Tyson’s drunk and he’s not going to have their first time in months be while Tyson’s so drunk he can’t remember it. He shivers when Tyson kisses the Mark on his chest before resting his head against Jamie’s shoulder.

“Love you.” Tyson whispers as he falls asleep, and Jamie pulls him in tighter as sleep pulls him under as well.

They can’t make Christmas work, and Jamie feels like the most obvious third wheel in the world when Jordie and Jessi invite him along to her family’s house for Christmas, and he only goes because Tyson pushes him and Jessi pouts until he relents. Tyson goes home to Victoria, and Jamie has to fight the jealousy and bitterness throughout Christmas Eve at his apartment with Jordie and Jessi and Christmas Day with the Kohouts.

“Come on Chubbs, it’s New Year’s Eve, you should come out with us!” Morrow tells him in the locker room after the game, slapping him on the shoulder as he passes by his stall. It had been a good game, Jamie getting two assists, but Tyson was in Ontario – another missed holiday together – and he really just wanted to go home and wallow in his misery.

“Nah, I’m just not feeling it.”

“Some of the Bruins want us to show them the town.”

“Yeah, after they lick their wounds!” Fidds shouted, and the locker room erupted into cheers.

“Come on.” Morrow urged, quieter. “It’ll be good for you, spend time with the guys.” Jamie looked up and saw concern in his captain’s eyes, and Jamie sighed and nodded.

They end up at some pretentious club in Uptown, but they’ve got a roped-off VIP area, so Jamie finds a spot in one of the lush high-backed booths and sips slowly on his beer. The guys, for the most part, are on their way to completely smashed but they seem content enough to leave him be. He spots a few of them on the dancefloor, a couple others chatting up people on various couches. He takes another sip of his beer and glances over when he feels another press into his side. It’s Seguin, one of the Bruins, and he smiles widely and tips his beer toward Jamie’s.

“Happy New Year!” Seguin yells over the music, and Jamie taps his bottle against the other man’s. “Congrats on the win.”

“Thanks. That goal was sick, though.” Jamie watches Tyler blush a little at that, and Jamie smiles.

“You’re going to be at the All-Star Game, right?” Jamie’s stomach ties in knots at the reminder, but he nods. “Sweet! It’s my first time, too. It’s gonna be crazy.”

They sit there in silence for a long time, and Jamie can tell that Seguin’s getting antsy long before he wraps his hand around Jamie’s forearm and tugs.

“Come on Benny, dance with me!” Seguin begs, and Jamie shakes his head but eventually lets himself be pulled onto the dancefloor, Fidds and Loui yelling in celebration as Tyler wrapped his arms around Jamie’s neck and moved them both to the music. Jamie kept a distance between them, which Seguin seemed to respect. They moved smoothly together, and Jamie felt himself getting increasingly drunk on the beers he’d been drinking, the heat of the crowd, and the high of the win. The energy of the crowd grew more intense as Jamie heard them start to count down to midnight. He took the glass of champagne that Seguin offered him from the waitresses moving across the dancefloor and tipped his glass in thanks.

_10…9…_

“Got any new year’s resolutions?” Seguin yelled.

“Hold up a big silver cup, you?” Seguin threw his head back in laughter and shrugged.

_6…5…_

“I don’t make resolutions, just go with the flow.”

“Yeah, you seem like the type.” Seguin laughed again, but didn’t argue.

_3…2.._

“Happy New Year, Benn.” Seguin’s smile was wide and blinding, and Jamie couldn’t help but smile back.

Jamie felt his eyes go wide as Seguin slipped an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. A vision of Tyson filled his brain, and he felt like he’d been punched in the gut and threw his free hand up to Seguin’s chest.

“Sorry, I…”

“I guess I read this wrong.” Seguin replied, and Jamie nodded.

“I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Seguin shrugged, an easy smile on his face. “Shame.”

“Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”

“Nah, you didn’t. You’re cute, but not available. I respect that.”

“Happy New Year.” Jamie tells him, downing the glass of champagne.

“See you in Ottawa, Benn.”

Jamie leaves shortly after midnight, pouring himself into a cab and heading back to his apartment. He fumbles with the key, but finally made his away inside. He locked the door behind him, tugging his tie loose as he stepped further into his apartment. It was empty, just like he left it, and he sighed heavily and headed straight for his bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed, fumbling with his phone to find two missed calls and a text message from Tyson.

_Happy New Year! <3_

Jamie smiled, then thought about how he’d almost kissed someone else, and shut his phone off without replying.

He misses five games when he has his appendix taken out, and he’s miserable and short-tempered to everyone, including his mother who flies down to help him through his recovery.

“You can’t bite our heads off just because we’re not Tyson.” Jordie tells him while they’re sprawled out on the couch a week after his surgery, watching their team get destroyed by the Wild.

“I’m not.” Jamie grumbled, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“You _are_ , and it’s not fair. You know he’d be here if he could.”

It was true, Jamie _did_ know that, knew that Jordie had fielded panicked phone calls from Tyson until he had come through surgery. He knew that Jordie had all but threatened to kick Tyson’s ass if he left his team to be with Jamie. Tyson was close to the show, and Jamie would have never forgiven himself if Tyson had screwed that up because of Jamie.

A few weeks later, he’s as healed as he’s going to get and on a plane to Ottawa for the All-Star game. He’s the only member of the Stars making the trip, and he feels the pressure of representing his entire team weighing down on him.

The draft is one of the most nerve-wracking things Jamie’s ever experienced, especially as guys keep getting called and Jamie’s still in the waiting area, nursing a beer. The number of guys waiting dwindles until Jamie’s sure he’s going to be picked last, the idea of a free car doing little to soothe that particular hurt.

“Benny!” A familiar voice calls, and Jamie looks up to see Tyler Seguin slipping into the booth next to him.

“Hey Segs.” Jamie shifts uncomfortably, mind going to dancing with and almost kissing Seguin on New Year’s Eve.

“I can’t believe they haven’t called you yet.” Seguin tells him, pointing his beer in Jamie’s direction. “You’re great.”

“Can’t believe your captain hasn’t picked you yet.”

“Ah, he can’t show favoritism, y’know?” Is Seguin’s reply, but Jamie can see a little flash of hurt in the man’s eyes before it disappears. “Is your guy here this weekend?”

“He’s flying in the night before the game.”

“He’s not going to be here for skills?”

“Nah, he has a game that night.”

“He’s a player?” Seguin twists in his seat at that, his eyes alight with interest. “NHL?”

“Not yet, he plays in Cleveland right now.”

“That’s cool. Can’t wait to meet him.” Jamie smiles but feels his gut twist at the idea of Tyson and Seguin meeting. It hadn’t meant anything, what happened on New Year’s Eve, they’d both been drunk and stopped before they could even kiss. Seguin seemed like a good guy, Jamie told himself, and had backed off as soon as he knew that Jamie was taken. Guilt swirled in Jamie’s stomach all the same whenever he thought of the moment. He had a soulmate, he was in love, but he was also a twenty-two-year-old guy who hadn’t seen his boyfriend in months. In that moment, he’d known that some part of him had wanted Seguin, just for a feeling of closeness with someone, and he hated himself for it.

He ends up being chosen second-to-last, which is…almost worse than going last. Still, he slips the sweater on and takes a seat next to Seguin, who elbows him in the side and sends him a bright smile.

The skills competition is held a few days later, and Jamie – somehow – wins the accuracy shooting. He gets back to the locker room and finds a phone full of texts from Jordie, Tyson, even Morrow. He feels his chest swell with pride, and that night he stretches out on his bed and calls Tyson.

“Babe!” Tyson greets, joy in his voice. “You were _awesome_!”

“Thanks.” Jamie feels his cheeks heat up, even though Tyson can’t see him. “Where are you?”

“Heading to the airport now. Should be in Ottawa around two.”

“I’m in 1441, are you sure you’re okay taking a cab?”

“Yeah, no way are you coming to pick me up in the middle of the night. Get some rest, and I’ll see you when I get there.”

“Okay.” Jamie concedes, already feeling his eyes droop shut. “Love you.”

He feels like he’s only been asleep for minutes when his phone rings, the shrill ringtone making him nearly jump out of his skin. He fumbles for it on the nightstand, not even looking at the screen before answering.

“’lo?”

“Jamie, it’s me.” Tyson’s voice sounds down the line, and Jamie smiles sleepily.

“Hey, you’re here?” He asks, and awakens more when he hears silence on the other end.

“No, I’m not.” Tyson finally admits.

“What’s wrong?” Jamie feels his body spike with adrenaline, his mind suddenly firing off a million reasons why Tyson isn’t in Ottawa.

“I, uh…Coach called me right after we got off the phone. Elly’s got a hand thing so they’re sending me to the AHL All-Star Game instead. They’ve already sent me a ticket to Jersey.”

“Oh.” Jamie pushes until he’s sitting up in bed, doing his best to hide his disappointment. “That’s great.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re going to be an All-Star, Tys.”

“I’d rather be in Ottawa with you.” Tyson admits, and Jamie feels his heart squeeze in his chest. He reaches up and rubs his fingers over his Mark, trying to soothe the ache. “I miss you so fucking much.”

“I miss you too, Tys. But this is a good thing. They’ll have to call you up soon.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Tyson sighs.

“We’ll see each other soon, okay?” Jamie tells him, even if he doesn’t believe it himself.

“Yeah.” Tyson finally says after a long moment. “I’ll let you get back to sleep, I just wanted to let you know.”

“Night, Tys.” Jamie replies, hanging up.

He doesn’t sleep anymore that night.

“Hey, where’s your guy?” Seguin asks him after the game after introducing Jamie to his mom outside the locker room.

“He, uh…he couldn’t make it after all.” Jamie admits, and Seguin looks at him with what looks like sympathy.

“Sorry, bro.” He tells him, then pulls him along to go to dinner with his mom and sisters.

Tyson gets called up to the show a few days later, and Jamie’s so full of pride he could burst. He tells Morrow as they’re suiting up to play the Wild, and the older man claps a hand on his shoulder.

“Barrie, right?”

“Yeah.” Jamie beams, slipping his sweater on over his pads. “He’s going to play against the Hawks on Tuesday.”

“That’s great, kid.”

Jamie doesn’t get to watch Tyson’s first game live, instead the Stars lose 4-1 to the Yotes and Jamie’s left to mope all the way home. He has enough time to catch the highlights before Tyson calls, breathless and exhausted but so happy that it makes Jamie’s own loss sting less. He falls asleep to the sound of Tyson breathing on the other end of the line, and for a moment Jamie feels a little less alone.

Jamie has a couple good games, finally back to a hundred percent after the appendectomy, when they play the Flames and Giordano’s skate slices Jamie’s leg. He knows he’s lucky that it’s fairly shallow, but he can’t help the dark cloud that descends over him when he has to get thirty stitches and is told that he’ll be out for at least a week. He doesn’t answer the phone when Jordie calls, or his mom, or even Tyson. Instead, he wraps himself up on a blanket, props his leg up, and decides to attempt to become one with his couch.

Jessi forces her way into the apartment a few days later, the closest thing that Jamie has to family with Jordie back in Austin. He snaps and growls until she rolls her eyes and puts up the last of the groceries she bought him and tells him that she’ll be back in two days to drive him to see the trainers. He still doesn’t answer his phone, even after he reads that Tyson’s been sent back to Lake Erie. He wants to reach out, wants to comfort and find comfort with Tyson, but he hasn’t seen Tyson in four months and it _hurts_. It’s so much harder than he ever thought it would be, and he can’t stop that dark voice in the back of his head telling him that they’re both young, that they shouldn’t be suffering like this just because they have each other’s names on their skin. They should be living their lives, happy, and he knows that Tyson is suffering too. Tyson is sad and lonely just like him, when he should be having the time of his life. He can’t stop the voice telling him that he’s not enough, that he’s not _good enough_ , that he’s holding Tyson back.

So, he doesn’t answer Tyson’s calls.

Finally, after Jessi brings him back from the trainers, who tell him he should be good to go against the Pens next week, he opens his phone and scrolls down to Tyson’s name. He answers before the first ring is through.

“ _Jamie_.” Tyson says breathlessly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I, uh…sorry.”

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“I just…I needed some time to think.”

“Okay.” Tyson says, and Jamie feels his eyes fill with unshed tears.

“I, um, I think we should take a break.”

“A break?” Tyson’s tone is confused, and Jamie stares at the ceiling to stop himself from crying.

“Yeah. A break, from…us.”

“But.” Tyson begins, and then is quiet for a long time. “But we’re soulmates, Jam.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jamie huffs out a breath. “But…we’re so young, Tys. And we’re so far apart. I just think…”

“You want to break up.” Tyson’s tone is flat, and Jamie’s heart hurts because he’s _never_ heard him like that, not in the fifteen years he’s known him.

“I just think we need some space.”

“Are you cheating on me?”

“What?” Jamie gasps, and shakes his head even though he knows that Tyson can’t see him. “No, of course not.”

“Do you _want_ to sleep with other people?”

“That’s not what this is about, Tys.”

“Well then what other reason could you possibly have?”

“I just think it would be good to take some time.”

“I can’t believe this.” Tyson’s voice cracks, and it’s the knowledge that Jamie knows that Tyson’s crying that sends him over the edge.

“Why are you doing this?” Tyson finally asks.

“It’s what’s best.”

“What’s best? Jamie we’re _soulmates,_ what’s best is for us to be together.”

“But we’re not together!” Jamie snaps. “We’re not together, we haven’t seen each other in _months_. You’ll be in Denver soon and this is how it’s going to be for _years_ , Tys. I don’t want that for us.”

“So, you’d rather just not be together?”

Jamie’s quiet for a long time, staring at the wall, listening to Tyson breathe.

“Yes.” He finally admits, and he can hear Tyson exhale.

“Fine.”

Jamie hears the click, turns into the pillow he’s been clutching, and cries.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went ahead and removed the background part from the Bennguin tag, because they feature pretty heavily in the last half of this chapter and in the last chapter (sniff! can't believe it's almost over!). But this is still definitely a Bennbarrie fic so just keep that in mind.

_May 2012_

Jamie finishes out the season, does his best, but they don’t make the playoffs – again – and he ends the season feeling little more than bitter disappointment and heartbreak. He hasn’t heard from Tyson since February, when he had wrecked everything and Tyson had hung up on him. He’d deserved it, but he knew that this was what was best for Tyson, as miserable as it made Jamie. He missed him, something deep and aching in the core of him, harsher than when they’d just been physically separated. He swore that his Mark ached at times, but Jamie thought it was perhaps just his heart breaking.

He thinks about going back to Victoria for the offseason, but he knows that if Tyson goes home there’s no way that they’ll be able to avoid each other. Tyson deserves to go home, and Jamie’s not going to ruin that for him. So, he stays in Dallas and trains even though they’re looking down the barrel of a lockout.

Hockey is all he has now, so as the summer drags on he has his agent reach out to some European clubs, in case the season is canceled.

“You’re going to go overseas?” Jordie asks when they have dinner one night in late August.

“Maybe.” Jamie shrugs, handing the vegetables he just cut to Jessi for the salad she’s putting together. “It seems like the best option. I can’t go to the AHL, and I want to play so...”

“It’s just so far.” Jordie complains. Jessi leans her head on Jamie, and Jamie wraps his around her and squeezes.

“Maybe it’ll be good.” Jessi points out. “Some space, some clarity.” They never talk about Tyson directly, conversations moving in circles around the Tyson-shaped elephant in the room. Jordie had brought him up, once, a few weeks after the breakup and Jamie had smashed a plate and not come out of his room for two days.

“Maybe.” Jamie agrees, though when he looks up Jordie looks dubious. “Darth, I want to play, and it doesn’t look like I’m going to get to do that in Dallas in October.”

“I know.” Jordie concedes, sighing. “Just let me be the big brother that worries.”

If Jamie pulls Jordie into a hug that lasts a little too long, well, only Jessi needs to know that.

He ends up in Hamburg, and Germany is different from anything he’s ever experienced. The guys are nice – they’re not _his_ guys, but they’re nice enough. He gets to play, gets to grow his game, gets to make friends and it’s…it’s _enough_. It has to be, he tells himself. He misses Jordie and the rest of his team.

The guys finally convince him to go out with them after a particularly spectacular win, and clubs are clubs so Jamie figures that he can post up in the corner of the large booth they claim just as easily as he did in Dallas. He chuckles when Garrett presses up against him, smile wide and friendly as he nudges Jamie’s side.

“You should dance!”

“I definitely shouldn’t.” Jamie counters, and Garrett rolls his eyes.

“Come on, bud, up you get.” He grabs him, despite the fact that he’s almost half a foot shorter than Jamie, and Jamie finishes his beer and follows him out to the dance floor. It’s crowded, but not overwhelming, and Garrett keeps his hands on Jamie until he feels more comfortable.

Jamie’s never been much of a dancer, but he lets himself get lost in the pounding beat, slightly drunk and just loose-limbed enough to enjoy it. He doesn’t flinch when he feels hands go around his waist, pulling him against a solid chest. Jamie turns his head just enough to catch dark eyes and a hint of stubble, maybe an inch taller than Jamie.

“Hi.” A deep, accented voice says against his ear and Jamie shivers. It’s been _so long_ since he’s been touched, and so he doesn’t push the man away, just loops an arm around to cup the back of his head and keep him close as they dance.

He wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar apartment, an unfamiliar arm draped across his waist, and he manages to retrieve his clothes and slip out before the guy wakes up. He feels guilty for leaving without a word, but it almost makes him feel lighter in a strange way. He’d been afraid, after he had blown up his life with Tyson, that he was destined to be alone. Now he’d proven, at least, that he had it in him to be with someone else.

He doesn’t have his soulmate, but that doesn’t have to mean that he spends the rest of his life unhappy.

A few weeks later, he checks his e-mail and finds a familiar name, a person he hadn’t thought of in years.

“I didn’t know you were in Berlin.” He greets Colin with a hug when he enters the coffee shop. He looks a little older, a little more refined, but he’s familiar and Jamie finds that he can’t stop smiling.

“I’m here working on my next book.”

“Oh, yeah? I read your last one, it was really interesting.”

“You read my book?” Colin seems surprised, and Jamie shrugs.

“I always liked what you had to say about Marks, about relationships being built on something other than some name that people tell you is your fate.”

“I thought you and Tyson were doing good.” Colin finally says after a long moment. Jamie stares down at the coffee in his hands until Colin’s hand reaches over and covers his. It’s only then that Jamie notices the simple gold band on his finger. He looks up and Colin smiles.

“Her name’s Hannah. We got married about six months ago.”

“That’s great, congratulations. Is she…?”

“She’s Markless, like me.” Colin confirms.

“That’s awesome, that you found each other. Found love.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Tyson?”

“We…we were together, for almost four years.”

“What happened?” Colin’s tone is gentle, and Jamie feels himself sink further into his chair.

“I fucked up.” Jamie admits. “I…we were apart, for so long. I made it to the show and then he got drafted by Colorado and was living in Kelowna and then Ohio. We hadn’t seen each other in months, and then I had to have surgery, and then another injury and the season _sucked_ again and…I ended things.”

“Do you regret that? Ending things?”

“What are you, my shrink?” Jamie snaps, and Colin chuckles.

“No, just a friend.”

“We weren’t happy. I hoped, when my name showed up on Tyson’s arm, maybe it would be easy. Or, at least, easier than it was.”

“Relationships are relationships, Jamie. Marks or not, they need attention, care, things aren’t just going to magically fall into place because the universe thinks you’re pre-destined.”

“So you’re saying I didn’t try hard enough?” Jamie can feel his hackles rising, every muscle in his body tensing. “I gave up too quickly?”

“No, of course that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying…well, yeah, Marks are a sign that you’re compatible, but I’ve been researching this stuff for _years_ , and I’ve come across enough couples who are Marked and miserable together to know that there’s more to it than that. You were, what, eighteen when Tyson got his Mark? So he was even younger?”

“Sixteen.” Jamie supplies, and Colin whistles.

“That’s…so much to put on someone that young. Our society has dictated that once you find your Match, that’s it. That’s who you’re supposed to be with, and it’s supposed to perfect and wonderful and everything will just work itself out. It doesn’t matter if you have hopes or dreams or plans that don’t align with your Match. You have to put all of your being into this _one person_ and it’s…it’s too much pressure. Add in the fact that you’re both in a high-profile, high-pressure profession that takes you away from your family and friends for months at a time…Jamie, I’m surprised you both were able to keep it going for as long as you did without cracking.”

Jamie stares at the table, mulling over Colin’s words. He was still one of the smartest people Jamie had ever met, and he was telling him that what he had done was okay. No one had really berated him for the breakup, and they didn’t judge him – not to his face anyway – but Colin was the first person to tell him that he wasn’t a complete failure.

“I…thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime.” Colin grins. “What are friends for?”

The lockdown finally ends, and Jamie finally gets to go home after signing his new grown-up contract with the Stars. It’s more money than Jamie will ever know what to do with, but it feels tainted when they don’t make the playoffs _again_. He thought maybe they had a chance, the team rallying in the shortened season only to drop the last five games. He has Jordie, finally, on his team but it’s still not enough. He begs off going back to Victoria with Jordie and Jessi, and he knows that his mother is at her wit’s end because he hasn’t come to visit for more than a few days in over a year. Still, he tells her that Dallas is his home, and he thinks that Jordie tells her that they’re considering him for the C because she doesn’t argue as much as he expects. It’s true, he thinks he’s got a shot, but plenty of players go home during the offseason. He doesn’t need to stay just because there’s a chance he’ll be captain next season.

He gets the call from the new GM the day before the trade happens, and if Jamie was doubtful that he’d be getting the C this year, he’s pretty sure now.

“You’ve met Seguin before, right?”

“Yeah, a couple times. We spent some time together at the All-Star Game last year.”

“Good.” Jim hums. “We’re setting him up in an apartment in your building. I’m not saying that he’s your responsibility, but we’ve…heard some things. We’ll all just feel better if you’re there to ease his transition.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Good man.” Jim praises, then hangs up.

Jamie waits until the trade goes public, then finds Seguin in his contacts. They’d texted back and forth a handful of times since the ASG, but nothing more than comments on their games.

_Looking forward to playing with you. Welcome to Dallas._

He doesn’t get an answer for several days. He knows that they’re in the middle of a rebuild, that going from a Cup-winning team like the Bruins to the Stars is probably frustrating for an up-and-coming player like Seguin. Maybe even insulting. But Jamie’s confident that they’re building something _good_ here, and he’s seen Seguin play enough times to know that he could be a crucial piece of that.

_Thanks_. Seguin finally texts him three days later. _Let’s prove them wrong_.

Seguin arrives a few weeks later, ahead of training camp, and accepts when Jamie offers to pick him up from the airport. He looks tired, wrung out, but he accepts the hand that Jamie offers and pulls him into a quick hug.

“Jordie here?” Seguin asks as they enter his apartment after dropping the few things that Seguin had brought with him in his new place.

“He’s on vacation with his girlfriend, he should be back next week.”

“Cool.” Seguin nods, taking in the framed pictures on the table that his mom had set up the last time she had come to visit. “Is this your family?” He asks, gesturing to the largest picture. Jamie picks it up and smiles. It’s from a few years ago now, the last time they were all able to take a vacation together at the same time.

“Yeah, that’s my mom and dad.” Jamie gestures to his parents in the middle. “You know Jordie, that’s his girlfriend Jessi. My sister Jenny, her husband Thomas.”

“Who’s this?” Tyler asks, and Jamie feels his throat constrict.

“Uh, that’s Tyson. My ex.”

“The guy that was supposed to come to the ASG?” Jamie nods, and Tyler sucks air through his teeth. “I didn’t know you broke up. Sorry, bro.”

“It was a while ago.” Jamie waves it off and puts the picture back down. Tyler doesn’t bring it up again.

They start training together, preparing for camp and the pre-season. They manage to get some ice time along with Jordie, and the first time they make a break for the goal, when Tyler sends the puck flying to Jamie’s stick like there’s a string connecting them, Jamie feels something settle in his bones. The next few plays they try out just confirms it for him, _this_ is what they’ve been needing, what they’ve been waiting for. They’ll have to see what happens with the rest of the team, of course, but Jamie knows that this – him and Segs – is going to be something special on the ice. Tyler seems to feel the same, skating up to him with wide eyes and bright smile.

“Dude!” Tyler gasps, and Jamie chuckles.

“Yeah.”

“We are going to _dominate_.” Tyler fist pumps as they step off the ice, and Jamie thinks it’s the first genuine happiness he’s seen from Tyler since he arrived in Dallas.

They cook dinner that night, Jordie disappearing off to Jessi’s like they hadn’t just spent the two weeks on vacation together. It’s nice, familiar, and Jamie realizes that he and Tyler have quickly become true friends. It’s nice, having someone around again that he can talk to, joke around with, and he revels in it. Tyler’s inserted himself into his life effortlessly, both on and off the ice, and he feels connected to someone for the first time since…well, in a long time.

September rolls around, and Jamie gets the C. Jordie and Tyler throw a rager, and Jamie lets himself let loose, flying high on the C and the promise of a new season, and the four beers he’s downed. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he doesn’t bother to look at the contact before he opens the text message, every muscle in his body going cold when he sees _Tyson_ at the top of the conversation.

_Congrats on the C. You deserve it._

It’s the first time he’s heard from Tyson in over eighteen months, and he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. He doesn’t reply, can’t.

“There you are.” Tyler finds him in the hallway sometime later, the party going strong in the living room. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just needed a break.” Jamie slumps against the wall, sliding down until he’s sitting on the floor. Tyler follows next to him a moment later, pressing his shoulder against Jamie’s.

“Wanna talk about it?” He finally asks, and Jamie shakes his head.

“Not really, no.” Jamie presses further against Tyler.

“That’s cool.” Tyler nods before twisting until he’s on his knees facing Jamie. “Can I…can I try something? Tell me if I’m reading this wrong again.”

Jamie feels his whole body tense, remembering the last time Tyler had read a situation between them. It felt like forever ago, but everything was different this time. They were friends, both single, and…Jamie wanted this. He nods, and Tyler leans in to capture his lips. It’s soft, gentle, until Jamie groans and Tyler scrambles into his lap. He deepens the kiss, and Jamie gasps and grips Tyler’s hips to hold him in place. They trade kisses like that, in the hallway where anyone could walk by, until Tyler’s squirming above him.

“Bedroom?” He finally asks, tearing his mouth away from Jamie’s to nip along his jaw. Jamie nods, pushing Tyler out of his lap and dragging him into his room.

He wakes up the next morning wrapped up in Tyler, the other man awake and staring at his chest.

“I didn’t know he was your Match.” Tyler whispers, his fingers making idle circles around his Mark but not touching it.

“Yeah.” Jamie admits, throwing an arm over his head. “He was…is, I guess.”

“I don’t have a Mark.” Tyler admits, and Jamie hadn’t even thought to look while they were having sex.

“Marks aren’t everything. I mean, look at me.”

“I know, I just…when I was kid, I just knew I’d get one. And then I didn’t, it made me feel…”

“Broken?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s how the Mark made me feel, a lot of the time. Like, I had this perfect match, but I still couldn’t make it work.”

“You could still work out one day.” Tyler points up, and Jamie shrugs.

“Maybe, maybe not. But I’m tired of being sad. I want to be happy.”

“Do I make you happy?” Tyler asks, his voice soft, and Jamie uses the arm wrapped around Tyler’s shoulders to tug him up until they’re face to face.

“I like you, Tyler.” He admits, and Tyler smiles softly back at him.

“I like you too.” He replies, tucking a piece of hair behind Jamie’s ear. “Let’s just…see where this goes?” Jamie leans down and drops a kiss on Tyler’s lips.

“Sounds perfect.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS. THE LAST CHAPTER. 
> 
> This fic is so near and dear to my heart, and it feels weird to be letting it go. I truly hope your enjoy the ending!
> 
> Shoutout to the Hockey RPF discord - this fic would not have happened without their encouragement and support. Y'all are some real ones.

_December 2013_

Tyson isn’t on the roster when they play the Avs in October. He’s still in Cleveland when the Avs roll into Dallas in November. Jamie had replied to Tyson’s text congratulating him on getting the C the day after the party, but they hadn’t communicated beyond that. Maybe, if he was man enough to admit it, Jamie had hoped that perhaps that could have been the moment that finally broke the ice between them. He knew, now, they weren’t supposed to end up together, but he had known Tyson since he was seven years old. He’d never been without him in his life for this long, and he…he wanted his best friend back, at least. Perhaps it was too much to ask. He had been the one to wreck them, after all, had broken both of their hearts in the process. Maybe this was his punishment – no Tyson, in any capacity.

“Hey, Marshall.” Jamie greeted when he heard the front door open and the sound of galloping paws. He crouched down from where he had been putting together a couple of sandwiches, scratching behind Marshall’s ears and letting him get one good, wet lick on his cheek. Tyler followed his dog a moment later, and Jamie stood up to let Tyler wrap a hand around his neck and bring him in for a kiss.

“Sometimes I think you only want me for my dog.” Tyler chirps after pulling away.

“Well, not _just_ your dog.” Tyler swats him on the arm and grabs his sandwich.

“Thanks, babe.” He tells Jamie, stuffing the sandwich into his face right there in the kitchen.

“You’re an animal.” Jamie rolls his eyes, grabs their plates and herds Tyler into the dining room while his boyfriend smiles around the bite in his mouth.

“You ready for tonight?” Tyler asks once they’ve sat down. Jamie tenses, and he knows that Tyler’s seen the Avs roster for tonight.

“Yeah, we’ve got this.” Jamie assures him, but he’s really not sure. They’ve lost every game they’ve played against the Avs this season, and now…

“Are you going to see Tyson? Before the game?” Tyler hooks his foot around Jamie’s ankle under the table, and Jamie searches for a hint of jealousy or suspicion in Tyler’s tone, and finds none.

“No.”

“You could, if you wanted to. Don’t, like, _not_ because of me.”

“You _want_ me to go spend time with my ex?” Tyler sighs and polishes off the rest of his sandwich.

“I want you to do what you want, Jamie. He was your best friend for most of your life, and I trust you. Why would I be dating someone I didn’t trust to not jump the bones of their ex at the first opportunity?”

“Besides,” he continues after a moment. “People are always going to do what they want. Can’t stop you, even if I act like a jealous asshole.”

“You’re…pretty amazing.” Jamie leans across the table, because he really needs to kiss Tyler. The kiss slowly deepens, especially when Tyler gets up so he can climb in Jamie’s lap. Jamie eventually pulls away to pepper kisses along Tyler’s neck, pulling on Tyler’s shirt so he can access Tyler’s collarbone.

“Don’t start something we can’t finish.” Tyler warns. “We have to nap.”

“We can nap after.” Jamie mumbles against Tyler’s skin, pushing Tyler off of his lap so he can drag him to the bedroom, Tyler laughing the whole way.

They hit the ice for warmups, and Jamie does his best to not look down at the home end. He skates a couple of loops and stretches, shoots a few pucks at Kari before Segs skates up and nudges his side. Once he has Jamie’s attention, he cocks his head toward center ice and Jamie finds Tyson standing there, shuffling a puck with his stick and staring at him.

“Go.” Tyler urges him, and Jamie nods and skates off toward Tyson.

He isn’t sure what to say when he arrives in front of him, staring down at the ice. Tyson doesn’t say anything either, but after a moment he sends the puck to Jamie’s stick. When Jamie looks up, there’s a hint of a smile on Tyson’s face and…Jamie’s missed that face _so much_. He sends the puck back, and Tyson does some fancy trick before shooting it back.

“I was surprised you weren’t on the roster last time we came to Denver.” Jamie finally tells him.

“They sent me back down for a while, something about ‘finding my confidence’ again. I think I’m here to stay now.”

“That’s great. You’ve been doing great, lots of offense.”

“You’ve been following my games?”

“Of course.” Jamie shrugs. “The Avs are in our division.”

“Yeah.” Tyson stops shooting the puck and skates a circle around Jamie before taking a knee. Jamie joins him, stretching out his legs as Tyson does the same.

“You want to get dinner?” Jamie asks, surprised at his own courage. They’re getting on a plane home right after the game, but the Avs will be in Dallas tomorrow for their next game. “After the game tomorrow?”

Tyson watches him for a long time, and Jamie feels small under his considering, neutral gaze. He finally nods and stands up.

“Yeah, sure.” He tells him, and skates away.

They lose spectacularly, 6-2, but Tyler gets two points for a goal and an assist. He walks over to Jamie’s stall and collapses next to him, both of them not really fitting in the small space.

“You okay?” Tyler asks, and Jamie nods his head.

“Yeah. I’m, uh, going to have dinner with Tyson, after the game tomorrow.” He watches Tyler for his reaction, but he only smiles softly at Jamie.

He manages to sleep on the flight back, and Tyler follows him without question to his apartment, stripping down to their boxers and collapsing face first on the bed and passing out almost immediately.

They don’t have a morning skate the next day, thank god, so Jamie makes them an actual breakfast and they get in a light workout before napping and heading to the arena. Tyson meets him at center ice again, and they pass the puck back and forth for a few minutes.

“Still on for dinner?” Tyson asks, and Jamie nods. Tyson nods back and skates back to his team, and Jamie smiles when he gets back to Tyler for their traditional warmup jump-crash-chest bump.

It’s a messy game. Jamie gets a penalty in the first period, and Tyson gets two later on, and it’s a pointless night Jamie, Jordie, and Tyler, but they manage to win 3-2 so the team’s riding high.

“Hey, I’m heading out.” Jamie tells Tyler, changed back into his game day suit.

“Okay.” Tyler squeezes his thigh for a brief moment before standing up. “Have fun.”

Jamie wraps his hand around Tyler’s wrist, stopping him from getting too far, and tugs until Tyler leans down so he can peck his lips. They don’t usually flaunt their relationship in the locker room, but Jamie feels like he needs it. Tyler smiles at him again, that same fondness that always overtakes his features there, and Jamie’s nerves settle for a moment.

He makes his way to the visitors’ locker room and finds Tyson waiting for him, dressed in his game day suit, jacket draped over his arm while he scrolls through his phone.

“Hey.” Jamie greets, and Tyson looks up at him and gives him a small smile.

“Hey.” He closes his phone and walks toward Jamie. “You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go. I was thinking steaks?”

“Sure.” Tyson tells him, and god, Jamie thinks, this feels so awkward. They don’t say much on the way to the restaurant – Tyson’s unusually quiet – and it isn’t until they get seated and order drinks that they really talk.

“How’s things in Denver?” Jamie asks, and Tyson shrugs.

“It’s good. Still working out my place on the team, you know. They’re good guys.”

“That’s…good.” Jamie replies lamely.

“How’s it going with Tyler?” Jamie chokes on his drink and only just manages to not spill it all over himself.

“How do you know about that?”

“This league is full of grown men who love to gossip.”

“It’s, uh, well…” Jamie tries.

“Hey, I’m happy for you.” Tyson assures him. “I want you to be happy.”

“I’m sorry. For how I ended things. It wasn’t right, what I did.”

“You could have handled it better.” Tyson concedes.

“I could have. I was just…angry, and hurt. Lonely, I guess.”

“You think I wasn’t lonely?”

“No, I know you were. I was feeling all of these things and took it out on you. It wasn’t fair.”

“Well,” Tyson takes a sip of his drink, staring down at the table. “For what it’s worth, I forgive you.”

“That means a lot.” Jamie’s throat feels tight, and he downs the rest of his drink to distract himself. “Thank you.”

“Not entirely for you. I spent way too long being mad at you, and it wasn’t healthy. I needed to be able to move on.”

“And have you? Moved on?” Jamie’s not sure he wants to know what the answer is.

“You mean am I seeing anyone?” Tyson’s smile is wry, and he shakes his head. “Nah, it’s not a good time, trying to get settled on the team and stuff.”

“Very mature.” Jamie chirps, and gapes when Tyson throws a piece of bread at him. They both laugh – a real and true laugh – and Jamie feels something settle in his chest.

They text after that.

Not all the time, but enough that Jamie feels like he has Tyson in his life again in some capacity. It’s nice. Jordie’s a fixture on the roster now, he has Tyler, and Tyson is speaking to him again.

Of course, that’s when the other shoe drops.

They’ve clinched their playoff spot – the first time in five years – and they’re set to celebrate but Tyler tells him he feels feverish and begs off to go home and rest. Jamie takes him home, bundles him into bed, gets two Tylenol and a Gatorade down his throat before Tyler falls into a fitful sleep.

Tyler seems better when he wakes up, and Jamie’s so relieved he can’t stop himself from stretching himself across Tyler, who laughs and shoves him off and demands a shower. Jamie waits until he’s sure that Tyler’s in the shower before stripping and joining him. Tyler turns and smiles at him, pulling him into a heated kiss.

“Can’t fuck in the shower.” He tells Tyler, keeping his arms wrapped around him. “If we fall and break our necks Nill will have our heads.”

“Good point.” Tyler concedes, turning his back to put his face in the spray, and that’s when Jamie sees it. At this point, he knows Tyler’s body better than anyone, every spot and scar and this is new.

This is a Mark.

Jamie reaches up, running his finger over the dark words, and Tyler’s fever the night before suddenly makes sense. Tyler is only twenty-two, definitely a little old to be getting his Mark, but it’s not unheard of. And anyway, even if it was strange, it’s obviously there and Jamie can’t stop staring at the name there.

_Jason_ it reads, and Jamie traces it as Tyler shudders.

“Ty…” He tries, his voice tight. “Ty, we need to get out of the shower.”

“That ready to go?” Tyler teases, turning around and wrapping his arms around Jamie’s waist.

“No, no, come on, I need to tell you something.” Tyler must register the seriousness in Jamie’s eyes, because he nods and shuts off the water, handing a towel to Jamie before grabbing one for himself. Once they’re standing in his room Tyler stares at him, unsure, and Jamie guides him over to the mirror.

“I know why you had a fever last night.” Jamie tells him. “Your Name came in.”

“What?” Tyler gasps. “Where?”

Jamie guides him until Tyler’s back is facing the mirror, and he knows the moment Tyler sees it, his entire body going still.

“Jason?” He asks, and Jamie nods. “But…I’m twenty-two. How am I just now getting a Mark?”

“I don’t know, but it’s there.” Jamie watches as Tyler reaches over his shoulder to run his fingers over the name.

“Wow.” He whispers, and Jamie can’t help but smile. He loves Tyler, and he knows how much this means to him, even if Tyler had always shrugged off his lack of a Mark.

“I’m happy for you.” Jamie tells him, and that’s when Tyler turns to face him.

“Hey, this doesn’t mean…” He trails off, and Jamie wraps his arms around him.

“Yes, it does. And that’s okay. I may have screwed up with my soulmate, but you won’t.”

“But I love you.” Tyler whispers fiercely, and Jamie thinks that he sees tears in his eyes. He cups Tyler’s cheeks and wipes it away when one tear finally makes its way down his cheek.

“I love you too, and that’s why I want this for you.”

It’s weird, how easily they transition from boyfriends back to best friends. Being surrounded by the chaos of the end of the season helps, and playoff hockey is exhausting in a whole new way that leaves them too tired to wallow in breakup sadness. Anaheim kicks them out in the first round, though, and just like their season’s over.

The Avs get kicked out three days later, and Tyson calls him two days after that.

“Are you going home this year?” He asks, and Jordie had been pestering him about the same thing. “You should. We could, I don’t know, hang out.”

“It would make my mom happy.”

“Yeah, my mom’s been bugging me about seeing you too. So, you’ve got both moms mad.”

“That’s…terrifying.”

“Also, you shouldn’t, like, wallow in sadness in Dallas all summer.”

“I’m not wallowing.”

“You’re a wallower, Chubbs.”

“Stop acting like you know me.”

“I’m your soulmate, I know you better than anyone.” Jamie tenses at that. They never mention the fact that they’re soulmates these days, and he can hear Tyson’s sharp breath. “Sorry.” He tacks on, and Jamie deflates.

“It’s cool. Yeah, I’ll be there.”

He hasn’t been back to Victoria for more than a few days in over two years, and it settles something in his bones when he’s back on the island. Jordie had picked him up from the airport, taking quick glances at Jamie every chance he got until Jamie finally threw his hands up.

“What?”

“Tyson got back yesterday.”

“Yeah, I know. He told me.”

“So, you’re talking again? And visiting home at the same time?”

“We’re friends again.”

“Just friends?” Jordie asks, and Jamie buries his face in his hands.

“Yes.” He confirms, his voice muffled. “Just friends.”

Jamie thinks that he’s going to push it, like he always does, but instead he just tells him “okay” and drops the subject.

Jamie’s a twenty-four year old millionaire professional athlete, so he spends his first night at home – mostly so his mom and Mrs. Barrie can guilt jerk him about spending so much time away – and the next day he moves into his summer rental, a decently-sized lake house. It’s also for sale, and his realtor had strongly encouraged him to consider buying it. It’s cozy, private, and Jamie starts considering it almost as soon as he moves in. If he’s finally going to start coming back home, he should probably have a place to go to.

He knew Tyson also rented a place for the summer, but he hadn’t known it was a ten-minute walk from Jamie’s place until Tyson had shown up one morning with breakfast in hand.

“No way, your place came with a boat?” Tyson whines, staring out the back porch at the boat at the dock.

“I was going to go fishing today, if you want to come.” Jamie offers, and tries to keep it casual despite how much he really wants Tyson to come.

“Sure.” Tyson agrees, and that’s how they end up seeing each other almost every day.

It’s nice, familiar in a way that Jamie hasn’t experienced since…well, since the last time they were together like this. They fish, they cook out, Jordie and Jessi come over most nights, and it’s…just nice. May turns into June, and summer comes to the island in full. Tyson suggest grilling steaks for dinner, and they head into town together to grab everything they’ll need. In true Tyson fashion, once he’s faced with all of the possibilities, the list grows from steaks and veggies to some fancy risotto he’d wanted to try making and chocolate lava cakes. They end up at a bakery so Tyson can pick out the perfect bread for the meal, and Jamie leaves Tyson to press his nose against the glass as he considers his options.

“Ooh, Jam, what about this one?” He asks, grasping Jamie’s hand and pulling him toward him. Jamie tenses, freezes, and Tyson does too once he realizes what he’s done. He lets go of Jamie’s hand immediately, flushes, and refuses to meet his eye. Jamie watches him, feels the empty weight of his hand, and watches as Tyson chooses a bread and pays. They step out into the early afternoon sun, and Jamie decides _fuck it_ and reaches for Tyson’s hand, twining their fingers together. He doesn’t look over, but he does feel Tyson squeeze his fingers, and he doesn’t let go until they get to the car.

The handholding seems to have broken some kind of wall between them, and suddenly they’re touching all the time. It’s little things – a hand on the back, on the arm, on the back of the neck. They hug hello and goodbye, and the first time they do it in front of Jordie Jamie is pretty sure his brother almost explodes. When they have dinner with everyone, they sit next to each other, and when Jessi convinces them to make smores in the fire pit outside of Tyson’s house, it’s Jamie who pulls his marshmallow off of the stick and shoves it in Tyson’s mouth while he’s laughing at some joke Jordie told. Tyson looks offended, until he pulls off his own marshmallow and chases Jamie around the yard, tackling him to the ground and smooshing the sweet against Jamie’s cheek.

“Ew, gross!” Jamie complains, until Tyson leans down and licks it off of his cheek. Tyson hovers above him, a smile on his face but fear in his eyes as he looks at Jamie. Jamie swipes at the leftover marshmallow on his face and swipes it down the bridge of Tyson’s nose, and Tyson finally climbs off of him and wipes it off with his shirt.

They walk back to Jamie’s house soon after that, Jamie sandwiched between Jordie and Jessi.

“So…” Jessi finally ventures when they’re almost home. “That was…”

“Chubbs, are you sure about this?” Jordie asks, a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening, but it feels…right?”

“You need to be sure about this, man.” Jordie tells him. “You and Tyson are two of the most important people in my life. Tyson’s family. If you’re not sure you’re in it for good, you can’t do this.”

Jamie stops walking, really thinks about it. He’d broken both of their hearts when he’d imploded their relationship. He’d been sad, lost, heartbroken for so long. He’d fallen in love with someone else, and it had been real, but nothing compared to what he felt whenever he was with Tyson. What he felt when he was with Tyson was overwhelming, all-consuming, and the thought of being without it again was…

Shit.

“I gotta go.” He tells them, turning back the way he came.

“Go get him!” Jordie crows, and Jamie vaguely hears Jessi slap his arm and tell him to shut up.

Jamie is panting and red-faced when he gets back, and he hadn’t realized that he’d practically sprinted back to Tyson’s. He’s a little sweaty, which is probably not going to make the best impression, but Tyson’s seen him at his worst. He knocks and feels like he might vibrate out of his skin while he waits for Tyson to answer. When he does, everything that Jamie wanted to say goes flying out the window at Tyson’s smile.

“Hey bud, did you forget something?”

“I love you.” That wasn’t what Jamie meant to say, and Tyson’s eyes go wide but he doesn’t slam the door in Jamie’s face, so he keeps going. “I know I screwed up, and I’ll never be able to tell you just how sorry I am. I was scared, and I wrecked everything, but I love you. I’m in love with you, I have been since I was seven years old. I never stopped, not for a second. And I just needed you to know that. I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same, and I’ll understand if you don’t want me anymore. But I needed you to know. So, yeah. I love you.”

Tyson stares him down, and Jamie feels his shoulders droop when he doesn’t get a response.

Tyson doesn’t love him anymore.

He shouldn’t be surprised, but he’d thought…

“You’re an idiot.” Tyson finally tells him, takes Jamie’s face in his hands, and crashes his lips onto Jamie’s. Jamie scrambles to hold Tyson, to touch him everywhere while Tyson licks into his mouth. He plasters himself to Jamie’s front, and something that Jamie hadn’t realized he was missing slides into place in his heart. He swears that his Mark is tingling on his chest, Tyson’s name searing into his skin. He whimpers when Tyson pulls away, but he stays in Jamie’s arms, so he counts it as a win.

“We need to talk.” Tyson leans in and pecks Jamie’s lips. “A lot.”

“Yeah.” Jamie agrees.

“I’m still in Denver. You’re still in Dallas.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t see that being a problem?”

“We’ll make it work.”

“You said that last time.”

“This is different.”

“How?”

“I know what it’s like to live without you now.” Jamie tells him, squeezing him tighter. “I’m never doing that again. You’re my best friend, that means you’re the _best_ soulmate.”

“Damn, you’re good.” Tyson replies, and smiles against Jamie’s lips.

_August 2014_

“I need to talk to you about something.” Tyson props his chin up on Jamie’s chest, his finger still tracing his own name.

“Okay.” Jamie jostles Tyson by sitting up a little further, but Tyson only turns so he can rest his face on Jamie.

“So, you know I’ve been negotiating my contract with the Avs, and they came back with an offer. It’s good, but I had my agent reach out to a few teams, you know, see what’s out there.”

“You’re leaving Denver?”

“Not necessarily. I love my team, but…this summer, it’s been good, right?”

“Yeah.” Is all Jamie says, but judging by the smile on Tyson’s face he’s got his dopey Thinking About Tyson face that Jordie chirps him for endlessly.

“You know, we’ve never been great at distance, so I…well, I asked Craig to reach out to the Stars.”

“Oh.” Jamie sits up, and Tyson folds his legs underneath himself so they can be eye level. “What did they offer?”

“5.2 for a two-year contract. The Avs came back yesterday and offered the same.”

“You’re an RFA, if the Avs offer the same thing you have to take it.”

“Not if we make our status as soulmates public knowledge. Being Matched means that if the Stars can match the Avs’ offer then I’m allowed to take it. I know I never wanted to make it public before, but I made it to the show, Jam. On my own. So, now, I want to be with you. If, you know…you want me there.”

“If I want you there?” Jamie reaches up and runs a hand through Tyson’s curls. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“So, I should tell Craig I’m moving to Dallas?”

“You’re moving to Dallas.” Jamie confirms, something like awe in his voice, and tugs Tyson back down onto the bed with him.

_April 2016_

They have two games left in the regular season. They’ve already clinched their playoff spot, they’re playing some of the best hockey of their career, and Segs…

Well, Segs looks like he’s about to pass out in the middle of the locker room. He’s dressed in a suit, a cast still wrapped around his ankle but finally able to walk with only a cane, ready to watch the game from the press box.

“Who broke Seggy?” Tyson asks from the stall next to Jamie’s, and Segs is just standing there staring at the new kid, freshly called up from Austin because of Seggy’s injury, who has his hand extended toward Tyler.

“What-“ Tyler finally starts, taking the kid’s hand. “What did you say your name was?”

“Uh, Jason.” He replies, an easy smile on his face. “Dickinson. But everyone calls me Dickie.”

Tyson stands up next to Jamie at that, his hand on Jamie’s arm.

“Did he say his name was Jason?”

“Yep.” Jamie confirms, and Tyson’s grip on his arm gets tighter.

“You don’t think…”

“Probably.”

“Damn, he’s cute. Way to go, Segs.” Tyson laughs, and Jamie whips around to glare at him. “Hey, I’m married, not blind.” He winks at Jamie and Jamie fights the urge to whip his towel at his husband. He’s the Captain, and a professional, and he’ll simply get his revenge once they get home.

Dickie scores the first goal fifteen minutes into the first period, his first NHL goal. After the game, if he and Tyson spot Segs waiting outside the locker room, talking quietly with Dickie before they both head toward the exit with Dickie’s hand on Tyler’s back…well, no one has to know but them.

“Come on.” Tyson tells him, pulling him down by his tie for a kiss. “Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [@bennsseguin](http://bennsseguin.tumblr.com)!


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